


Let's Take This Mess And Make A Home

by iwannafucktheguitarist



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gender or Sex Swap, Girl Calum, M/M, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Woke Up A Girl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:31:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwannafucktheguitarist/pseuds/iwannafucktheguitarist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m guessing this is permanent, then,” Ashton says after a while.<br/>“Why is that?” Luke asks.<br/>“Because Calum obviously has girl hormones and insides and stuff now. So I guess we should start calling you a she, huh?” he asks Calum.<br/>Calum starts crying for the second time that day. “Sorry. I just really really wish I was a guy again. This fucking sucks,” he—or she, now—says tearily. “But yeah, I guess I am a she now, aren’t I?”</p>
<p>Basically Calum wakes up a girl. It takes a while to adjust to it, with periods and new anatomy and all. Add an unexpected pregnancy just months after she changes, and life will never be the same. Not only for her, but for all the members of 5SOS. And she still has to figure out what the hell her relationship is with Michael.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i've decided to go ahead and start posting this fic. i have a weakness for woke-up-a-girl fics and was frustrated at the lack of them in this fandom so i decided to take matters into my own hands. this fic's plot does revolve around girl!calum being pregnant and having a baby, so if you don't like the idea of domestic malum and michael being all cute as a dad (honestly wtf is wrong with you), don't read. but there is going to be a fair amount of smut. also, malum aren't together for the first several chapters. this thing is gonna be long.
> 
> the fic's title comes from the all time low song cinderblock garden; the future hearts album is amazing and i highly recommend you listen to it.
> 
> come find me on tumblr! [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

“How the fuck did this happen?” Luke asks, looking at Calum. Calum, who somehow magically turned into a girl overnight.

“Bro, I have no idea. But so far, I’m kind of liking it,” Calum says, hands cupping his new breasts. Seriously, he has fucking boobs now! He literally hasn’t taken his hands off of them for more than a couple minutes since he woke up and discovered his new anatomy.

“You would,” Ashton says, shaking his head.

“Can you at least put a shirt on?” Michael asks Calum.

“If you grew tits overnight, wouldn’t you want to look at them as much as possible?” Calum counters.

“You’ve got to admit that it’s kind of normal for Calum to be walking around topless,” Luke points out.

“He doesn’t normally have fucking tits, Luke,” Michael says.

“Yeah, you really should put a shirt on, Cal,” Ashton says.

Calum sighs. “Alright, fine.”

“And not one with holes, either. Or a white one,” Ashton says.

“Okay,” Calum says, going over to his suitcase. He’s still wearing only a pair of boxers, which is what he’d fallen asleep in, still a guy. He hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt when he woke up. Okay, he hadn’t really wanted to. He picks out a shirt, a black one that he thinks may have originally been Luke’s; they all borrow each other’s clothes so much they’ve kind of stopped keeping track at this point who they belong to. He puts the shirt on then goes to sit on his bed, and the others sit in various spots around the room.

“So what are we going to do about this?” Michael asks.

“I dunno. I don’t know how long this is going to last, so I don’t know exactly what we have to prepare for. Like, if he’s going to turn back, we don’t need to buy a bunch of girl clothes or whatever,” Ashton says.

“Go ahead, that means I won’t have to buy Mali a Christmas present,” Calum says.

“We’re not gonna waste money on girl clothes just so you don’t have to buy your sister a Christmas present if you get your dick back,” Ashton tells him.

“Why? It’s not like we can’t afford it.”

“We need to get him a bra,” Luke says.

“Fuck. Yeah, you’re right,” Calum says. “These things are kind of big.” Calum looks down at his chest again, seeing his nipples poking through the shirt. “And I can see my nipples.”

“So can we,” Michael says, smirking.

“Fuck off, Clifford,” Calum says. “How the fuck do I even know what size I am?”

“I think you, like, measure your chest? I don’t know, Calum! You’re the one with the boobs!” Ashton says, throwing his hands up.

“Maybe we should, like, call one of our mums?” Michael suggests.

“Do you think they’ll really believe that Calum turned into a girl?” Luke asks.

“Wait a second...don’t some stores, like, measure and figure out the bra size and shit?” Calum asks.

“How did you know that?”

“I saw a sign at the mall the other day. I was looking at the posters outside of Victoria’s secret because there were like massive boobs on them and it was kind of hard not to look at it.”

Ashton rolls his eyes. “I guess you’re going to the mall, then, Calum. Because I, for one, and not going into that store.”

“Nope,” Michael says.

Calum makes his cutest puppy eyes at Luke. “Please come with me, Luke.”

“No. Do you seriously want there to be pictures of me with some girl going around on the internet? Because the fans won’t know it’s you. It won’t be ‘Cake going to the mall’, it’ll be ‘Luke Hemmings is seen with mystery girl at mall’. And the fact that we’d be in fucking Victoria’s Secret just adds a whole other level of nope.”

“Fine, I’ll go alone. Just know that I hate all of you,” Calum says.

“Hey, at least no one will know it’s you,” Luke says in a tone Calum guesses was supposed to be helpful. He punches Luke’s shoulder. “You don’t hit as hard when you’re a girl,” Luke says. Calum punches him harder, this time in the gut. “Never mind,” Luke groans, clutching his stomach.

“My jeans are definitely not going to fit,” Calum realizes. He’s like five foot seven now. He hopes his shoes still fit.

 

They didn’t. He stuffed socks into the toes of his Vans. He had to cut off his jeans into shorts. Somehow when he changed, his legs were hairless, so at least he doesn’t have to worry about getting weird looks for that.

Going to the mall as a girl is probably the most awkward thing he’s ever done. Going into a store that sells women’s undergarments...is the most awkward part of that. No, scratch that. Getting measured for bras is the most awkward part. Calum’s surprised how expensive bras are too. Seriously, these things are like sixty bucks each.

He’s a 34D, he finds out. He’s oddly proud that he’s a D-cup. He buys three bras and five pairs of panties because they’re five for thirty dollars and he has no clue how long he’s going to be a girl.

Figuring out his jean size is difficult too. He finally finds out, after trying on three different pairs in three different sizes at Hot Topic, that he’s a size seven, and a medium in shirts fits nicely. He buys a few band T-shirts and a couple other cute tops, then gets some shorts and a couple pairs of black skinny jeans. He buys a pair of purple Vans and some socks to fit his girl-sized feet (he wears an eight in women’s shoes now; his feet apparently shrunk three sizes taking into account the difference between men’s and women’s sizing).

 

Calum arrives back to his hotel room to find the other boys gone. He goes straight to the mirror and looks at himself more closely. He’s now wearing a Green Day T-shirt that actually fits, a red flannel shirt, and some light wash cut-off jeans. His hair grew overnight, and it comes down to his mid-back. It’s wavy, just like when it was short. He’s got a nice body, he thinks. He’s curvy.

He hasn’t had a chance to look at his entire body in the mirror yet. He decides there’s no time like the present, so he pulls his shirts and his shorts off, looking at himself in his new underwear. Honestly, if he was still himself, he’d wanna fuck the girl in the mirror. Which, maybe that’s a little narcissistic, but he’s still having a hard time seeing that girl as himself.

The black balconet bra holds his breasts so that he’s got a fair amount of cleavage. It’s got a lace trim and he doesn’t know exactly why he picked out sexy underclothes; it’s not like he’s planning on getting laid like this. Or being seen by anyone but his band in general.

 

It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since Calum woke up as a girl. He still hasn’t changed back, and he’s starting to wonder if he ever will. And then he wakes up with his panties and the insides of his thighs covered in blood. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he mutters as he heads to the bathroom and wipes himself off. He’s been trying to ignore the fact that he now has a vagina, but this has kind of made it impossible.

He runs a bath, stepping into the tub and relaxing into the water. The pain he was feeling in his lower abdomen dulls a bit in the warm water. Cramps, he thinks. Of course. This is just fan-fucking-tastic. He gets his phone out and calls Mali. Hopefully she’s still awake; there’s a seventeen-hour time difference between L.A. and Sydney.

He’d told everyone about the change a few days after it happened, when it had become apparent that it was going to last for a while. Mali had said that she’d always wanted a sister anyway. She’s honestly the only person he can think of to call right now. The phone rings for a while and he’s about to hang up when she answers, sounding sleepy. “Hello?”

“Hi, Mali, it’s Calum.”

“Hey. You do realize it’s three AM here, right?”

“Yeah, sorry. It’s kind of an emergency. A, uh, girl thing.”

“That time of the month?” she asks, sounding like she’s half-joking.

“Yeah, actually. This is so weird! How the fuck do you deal with this every month? I woke up covered in blood, my belly is killing me, and I really feel like crying right now because I’m not even supposed to have a vagina and now I’m bleeding out of it!”

“Okay, calm down. Take some ibuprofen; it’ll help with the cramps. Heat helps too. You need to get pads or tampons; this is going to last about a week.”

“A week?!” Calum actually starts to cry at that because he has no idea how he’s going to handle an entire week of this.

“Yes, Calum, a week. I’ve been doing it for years, you can handle it. Please don’t ask me how to put a tampon in, though; you can figure that out yourself. Eat some chocolate.”

“I miss my dick.”

 

After his bath, Calum rolls up some toilet paper and puts it in his panties, to use as a makeshift pad, which Mali had suggested. He opts out of wearing a bra and pulls on one of his old long-sleeved shirts from when he was a guy and some sweats. He then texts the rest of the band to meet him in his room asap.

The boys enter his hotel room. “When you texted us, I thought you’d changed back or something,” Luke says, sounding disappointed.

“I need tampons or pads,” Calum announces, deciding to just be blunt, half-wanting to see the others’ reaction and laugh at it.

Luke looks at him like he grew a second head. Michael cringes. Ashton sighs.

“I’m guessing this is permanent, then,” Ashton says after a while.

“Why is that?” Luke asks.

“Because Calum obviously has girl hormones and insides and stuff now. So I guess we should start calling you a she, huh?” he asks Calum.

Calum starts crying for the second time that day. “Sorry. I just really really wish I was a guy again. This fucking sucks,” he—or she, now—says tearily. “But yeah, I guess I am a she now, aren’t I?”

“I’m so sorry this happened, Calum,” Michael says, leaning in and hugging her. The rest of the boys join the hug as well, and Calum’s so happy that they’re not weirded out by her girl problems.

“I can go to the store and get your, uh, things,” Ashton offers. Calum hugs him tightly and fervently thanks him.

 

Calum is lying on her bed with Michael and Luke on either side of her watching The Hangover when Ashton returns, a bag from CVS Pharmacy in his hand. Calum blushes a bit, but she takes the bag and heads into the bathroom.

She thanks whatever higher power there is that the tampons have instructions with them. She reads them through a couple times, then takes a deep breath and unwraps one, inserting it. She’d always wondered what it feels like to have a tampon in, and surprisingly, she can’t even feel it. She wipes herself off again, then puts a pad in her panties just in case the tampon doesn’t catch everything.

She goes back into the room and lies back down, and the others all cuddle up to her. Her lower tummy is still hurting. She seriously hates being a girl.

Her period lasts six days, and she actually cries with relief when it’s over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo! chapter two! okay, so we're getting the plot underway now. this chapter is basically smut. like literally that's all it is. it's het, though, and i know some ppl don't like reading het smut, but hey, it's genderswap what did you expect? there's a bit of foreshadowing at the end, and in the next chapter the story really will get going.
> 
> tumblr: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

Calum’s been a girl for a month now. She wakes up one morning after a confusing dream where she had sex with the other members of her band, all at the same time, which, weird. She comes to the conclusion that she’s sexually frustrated, and needs to let off some steam, which, she hasn’t tried to get off since she turned; she was a little freaked out about the whole suddenly having a vagina thing.

She sighs and slowly slips her hand into her panties, trying to work up the courage to actually touch herself. She slips a finger between her folds and discovers that she’s wet. She moves her finger around, trying to find her clit. She squeaks when she finds it. Fuck, it’s so sensitive. So much more sensitive than her dick was. She starts to rub it in little circles with two of her fingers, and she shudders because, fuck, this is so intense, and she moans. She feels little waves of pleasure come and go, and she reaches one finger down further, slipping it inside of herself. She wonders what it’d feel like to be fucked, and she feels her muscles squeeze a bit at that, and she groans.

She moves her fingers back to her clit, rubbing in little circles, figuring out where she’s more sensitive. Everything down there is so fucking sensitive; she had no idea it would feel this good as a girl. She knows she’s making noise, moaning and whining, her breath coming fast, and she thinks she might be close, now, thinks she can feel it.

Then the door to her room opens and Michael walks in. She quickly removes her hand from her panties, sees her fingers glistening and wipes them quickly on the sheets. “What do you want?” she asks snappily, which, okay, maybe she’s being a bit harsh but she was so close to coming and she hadn’t gotten off since before she woke up a girl and she feels like crying in frustration.

“Jeez, calm down. I was just going to see if you wanted anything from room service for breakfast,” Michael says.

“No, I don’t. I want you to leave my room.”

“Why are you so grumpy? I know I didn’t wake you up; the lights were on when I got in here and you don’t sound sleepy at all.”

Calum sighs and decides to tell him the truth, wanting to see his reaction and possibly laugh at him if he gets flustered. “Because I had my hand in my panties and was literally probably seconds away from coming when you came in and interrupted. I haven’t gotten off since before I turned into a girl.”

Michael’s mouth opens like he’s going to say something, and he gapes at her for a bit before shutting it. “Um.” He’s actually blushing now, and Calum kind of wants to laugh at him. “Really? You’re not just messing with me?”

She reaches back down and runs a finger down her slit, then holds it up to show Michael the wetness gathered there. “Really,” she says, actually laughing at his expression. His eyes are practically bugging out of his head. She puts the finger in her mouth, tasting herself, moaning a bit because it tastes pretty good. Michael clears his throat, looking a bit dazed. “C’mere,” Calum tells him, and he shakes his head as if to clear it and heads over to the bed. Calum throws the blankets off of herself, revealing the T-shirt and black lace boyshort panties she had slept in.

Michael just stares for a bit. “This is really happening. I’m not dreaming,” he says, sounding as if he’s trying to convince himself.

“Have you dreamed about this, Michael?” Calum asks, sitting up and pulling her T-shirt over her head, arching her back as she does so.

“Yeah. Even when you were still a guy I thought you were hot,” he says quietly, climbing on top of her and leaning down and capturing her lips in a kiss. “But, fuck, Calum, you’re so fucking hot as a chick.”

“Yeah?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Michael replies, kissing down her neck to her chest, sucking on a nipple and Calum arches her back. This feels good.

Michael grabs the other tit, massaging it with his hand, thumb rubbing her nipple, and Calum’s breath hitches. “Fuck, Michael. That feels amazing.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hm,” she hums, pulling him back up to kiss him.

“Want me to touch you, babe?” he asks her as he pulls away.

“Yes,” she says breathily, and his hand reaches down between her legs, pulling aside the thin lace material of her panties, a finger slipping inside her. He curves the finger and rubs against a spot inside her that makes her see stars. “Oh, fuck. Mmm,” she moans. He uses his thumb to rub her clit in little circles now, and she’s breathing hard, feels herself getting close, feeling like she did earlier, and she feels hot all over, and she’s moaning, and she was already so close from her own exploration that it’s only a couple minutes before she’s clenching, crying out, coming hard. And fuck, this feels so good, so much better than any orgasm she had as a guy. She’s whining as she comes, her body shaking, muscles clenching, toes curling, and it feels like it lasts forever. Eventually she has to pull Michael’s hand away, feeling too sensitive, so overwhelmed.

She pulls him in to kiss him again and he obliges easily, kissing her deeply. He pulls back a bit and whispers, “Do you want me to make you come again, babe?” he asks, and fuck, she’d forgotten about the whole “girls can have multiple orgasms” thing but fuck, she wants him to, wants to come again.

“Yeah, fuck,” she agrees quickly. She lifts her hips, trying to get her panties off. “I don’t need these.” He helps her, tossing them across the room.

Michael looks at Calum for a while. She blushes, feeling his stare. “God, you’re gorgeous.” He runs a finger around the outside of her smooth cunt. “You shave?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s more comfortable,” she says, shrugging. She shudders as he slips a finger inside her again, avoiding touching her clit though, still sensitive from the orgasm she just had. She groans at the feeling of his finger inside her, and he adds a second, curving them, touching that spot inside her again. She lets out a little whine.

“You’re so wet,” he mutters, almost to himself. She nods in agreement. He brings his thumb up to gently touch her clit, and she shudders, letting out a breathy moan. “Good?” he asks.

“Yeah, fuck. Your hands are amazing,” she says. He chuckles a bit. He presses a little harder on her clit, and she whines, god this feels amazing.

“I wanna taste you,” he tells her, removing his fingers then using his hands to spread her apart and ducking down between her legs, and she gasps as she feels his tongue running up her slit; this feels so much better than she could have imagined. He fucks her with his tongue a bit, and it feels amazing, then he moves his mouth up a bit and sucks on her clit and she cries out, shocked at the amazing burst of pleasure that the action elicits.

“Mmmm, do that again,” she moans, and he obliges, sucking on her clit and running his tongue across it, and she shudders, feeling herself get close again. She screams his name when she comes this time, it’s so intense, even better than the last orgasm, and she falls back on the bed, limp, when it’s over. “Oh, fuck,” she pants. “Oh, my god, wow. Fuck, that was amazing.” She groans a bit.

“Do you mind if I take care of this?” Michael asks, gesturing to the bulge in his jeans, and fuck, the fact that he’s hard for her, that she caused that, just turns her on again, and she feels her clit throb again.

“Or you could fuck me,” she suggests.

“Really?” he asks, groaning a bit.

“Yeah. Definitely. Please,” she says, reaching for his belt and undoing his jeans, and he sighs in relief as she pulls them down a bit.

Michael stands up and takes off his shirt, then pulls off his jeans and boxers, leaving him naked in front of Calum She moans a bit because fuck, he looks so good like this, he’s so hot.

“C’mere,” she says, grabbing his hand and pulling him down on top of her, kissing him. She can feel his hard cock against her hip, and she reaches down between them, stroking him, and he shudders and lets out a shaky breath.

“Mmm,” he groans.

“C’mon,” she says, spreading her legs as far as she can, an invitation. “I want you in me now.”

“Fuck, yeah,” he says, lining himself up and pressing inside her slowly, and she groans at being filled; this feels amazing, better than his fingers had, and then he’s moving inside her, and her breath hitches every time he thrusts into her, and it feels so good she’s almost sobbing with pleasure.

“Oh my god,” she groans. “Fuck, this is good. Mmm.”

“Yeah. Fuck, Calum, you’re so tight and wet,” Michael moans.

He reaches down between them and rubs her clit, then, and she feels herself nearing another orgasm, and she cries out; it feels so good. She’s getting close now, so close, and then he thrusts in a way that hits a spot inside her that feels so good, and she’s coming, her muscles clamping down hard on him inside of her, and she’s crying out, saying his name as it feels like she comes for ages, and she vaguely feels him come inside her, not thinking much of it, just so fucking sensitive.

He pulls out and lies down next to her, both of them panting. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I was gonna pull out before I came; I just wasn’t expecting that,” he tells her.

“It’s okay,” she tells him.

“Calum, you could get pregnant,” he tells her.

“What are the odds I’ll get pregnant the first time I have sex as a girl?” she asks him. “Now cuddle me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so here's chapter three...i hope you like this...
> 
> this one is pretty good, i think, really gets the plot going. it's got some humor, some cute stuff, a bit of angst...i like it. there's an original character in this chapter because of reasons; don't worry, she's not very important in the story, just this chapter.
> 
> my tumblr, as always: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

They don’t tell the others about it, and they don’t sleep together again. Calum gets herself off every couple days now, and she’s figured out where she’s most sensitive, and what works best. They don’t talk about what happened. At all. Calum doesn’t bring it up, and neither does Michael.

That is, until it’s been two months since her period and she’s starting to worry that maybe, despite the low odds, she could be pregnant. They’re still on tour, in some city in America; she has no clue what city it is though. She’s been playing the bass still, but she doesn’t sing anymore, doesn’t like her new voice. The fans seemed to take the news of her change pretty well, in fact, now that 5SOS has a hot girl member, they’ve seemed to accrue a lot more male fans.

But the fact that the fans know what she looks like as a girl, and she’s fairly well-known, makes this a bit more complicated. How the fuck is she supposed to buy a pregnancy test without causing all kinds of rumors?

Eventually, her concern that she might be pregnant outweighs her concern about being seen buying a pregnancy test. She heads to a Walgreen’s close to the hotel they’re staying at, buying a pregnancy test, praying that no one recognizes her. No such luck. Luckily, the girl who recognizes her looks to be around her own age, wearing a 5SOS shirt and in line behind her to check out. “Calum?” she says, sounding shocked to see her.

Calum turns around, panicked. She’d hoped no one would see or notice her or what she was buying. “Yeah,” she says, looking around to make sure no one else sees. “Please don’t tell anyone that you saw me buy this, I’m begging you,” she says to the girl.

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep your secret,” the girl promises. “I’ve been there.”

“Really?” Calum asks her, curious.

“Yeah. I was sixteen. I hope yours is negative, though. It’s tough being a teen mom.”

“Do you wanna, like, meet for coffee and talk?” Calum asks the girl.

“Sure. My name’s Kara. Starbucks?”

“Yeah. You’ll have to lead the way; I’m not familiar with this city.”

“Okay.”

 

Calum and Kara sit tucked away in a corner of Starbucks, sipping their drinks. “So, if you don’t mind me asking,” Kara says, “who? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Please tell me it’s not some unknown fanboy.”

“No, uh, it’s...Michael.”

Kara looks at her. “Well, I’m not exactly surprised. I’d figured it’d be him if it was one of your bandmates. How long has it been since your last period?”

“About two months,” Calum answers.

“It’s good that you’re doing this early. I was four months and starting to show by the time I took a test,” Kara tells her. “If you want, you can take that in the bathroom here, and I’ll wait for you. You should probably have someone be there for you in case it’s...positive.”

“Thanks,” Calum tells her.

 

It is. Calum stares at the little blue plus sign in confusion for a bit, then cleans up and heads back out to the table where Kara is. She sets the test down silently. Kara takes a look at it and pulls Calum into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay,” she tells her. “I’ve been there. I know you’re in shock right now, but I promise you’ll get through this.”

“What did you do?” Calum asks her.

“I thought about all my options: keeping it, getting an abortion, putting it up for adoption. I thought that it was kind of my fault I was pregnant in the first place, so I needed to go through with it. I was the one who had unprotected sex, and these were the consequences. So I ruled out an abortion. I thought a lot about putting my baby up for adoption, but I didn’t want to go through all that pain and suffering and not get anything out of it. So I decided to keep the baby. My daughter just turned three,” Kara says, sounding proud.

“What about the father?”

“He wasn’t very happy. He refused to believe she was his, and eventually I got a DNA test to prove it to him. He pays fifty dollars a month in child support. As far as I’m concerned, my boyfriend now is Leah’s father.”

Calum just sits there for a bit, thinking. What should she do? What’s Michael going to say? Fuck, what will the fans think? How is she going to tour while pregnant? At the same time, she feels like this must have happened for a reason, so she doesn’t want to terminate the pregnancy. But she’s only nineteen. Then again, if Kara did it at sixteen, she thinks she should be able to do this.

“Are you okay, Calum?” Kara asks her.

“Yeah. I...fuck. I just don’t know how I’m going to do this. I want to keep it, I just have no clue how it’s going to work. I have no clue how I’m gonna tour while pregnant, and I have no clue what the guys are gonna think, and fuck, I have to tell Michael and...god, this is all so overwhelming right now.”

“Just take a deep breath. I have to go; I have work in half an hour, but here’s my number,” Kara says, writing it on a napkin. “Call or text me if you need anything. I hope things go okay for you, Calum.”

Calum hugs Kara and leaves the Starbucks, heading back to the hotel. She meets a couple fans on the way, taking pictures with them, trying not to look upset.

 

When Calum arrives back at her hotel room she lies down on her bed and pulls her T-shirt up, looking at her belly. It’s still perfectly flat. She knows that soon that won’t be the case, though. She sighs. Why the fuck did she think this wasn’t a possibility? She could’ve got the morning after pill, but she just thought it was so unlikely she didn’t need to bother. She shakes her head at her stupidity. The thought that “it can’t happen to me” is behind a lot of unplanned pregnancies. She takes the positive pregnancy test out of her purse and sets it on the desk in the hotel room, deciding she’s going to go take a bath and try to calm down before she breaks the news to the others.

She sits in the tub with her chin resting on her knees, her arms around her legs, just staring at the wall. She tries to relax, but she just can’t. She sits there until the water gets cold, then decides she should wash off and get out of the tub. She shampoos and conditions her hair and washes her body, then sighs and gets up, drying herself off and slipping into a T-shirt and some sweats, then putting her hair up in a messy bun. She goes back into her room to find Michael in there, holding the test in his hands, looking confused.

“Shit,” she swears under her breath.

“Is this what I think it is?” he asks her quietly.

“That depends on what you think it is,” she jokes half-heartedly. “But probably,” she adds quietly.

“It’s positive?” he asks her.

“Yeah, that’s generally what a plus sign means,” she says. “I was going to tell you in a bit; I just kind of had to...psych myself up for it.”

“I’m sorry; this is my fault,” he says quietly.

Of all the reactions she’d considered, an apology wasn’t one she expected. “It’s kind of both our faults,” she points out. “If I recall correctly, I was the one who suggested you fuck me. You were just going to get yourself off after you ate me out. But I said you could fuck me instead. And now this happened. So really it’s more my fault. You pointed out that I could get pregnant, too, but I was stupid and didn’t think it would happen. I could have bought the morning after pill, but I was so sure that this wouldn’t happen and now I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do, Michael, I’m so scared,” she says, starting to cry.

He wraps his arms around her and she buries her head in his chest; she’s short enough as a girl that her ear rests against his heart and she can hear his heartbeat, and it calms her down a bit. “I’m so sorry, Calum,” he tells her quietly. “We’ll figure this out. Do you know what you’re going to do? Are you keeping it? It’s your decision.”

She nods. “Yeah. I met a girl when I was buying the test; she’s our age and she has a three-year-old. She was sixteen when she got pregnant. She was really nice and she talked to me about it a good bit, and she made me feel a little less alone. Her name is Kara, she gave me her phone number in case I wanted to talk.”

“That’s good, then. Fuck, how are we gonna tell the others? Are you okay to fly when you’re pregnant? Can you still perform? Do we need to cancel the rest of the tour? If you’re keeping it, we need to figure out what we’re gonna do once it’s born when we’re touring too.”

“One thing at a time. Let’s figure out how to tell Luke and Ash first, then we can think about the future.”

“Okay. Fuck, they don’t even know we had sex. They’ll probably think we’re pranking them or something.”

Calum can see why they’d think that. She can see herself playing that prank on them under other circumstances. She’s not even sure if the pregnancy test will convince them. “Okay, um, we could do it in a way that’s kind of funny? Like maybe get a cake that says something like ‘Congratulations; you’re an uncle’ or something like that?”

“I think we need to tell them in a serious way,” Michael tells her. “But that would be funny.”

“Okay, so we just sit down with them and just...say it,” Calum says.

“That’s about as much of a plan as we can make, I think,” Michael says.

 

Michael, Calum, Luke, and Ashton all meet in Ashton’s room for pizza that evening, and Calum looks at Michael questioningly, and he gives her a reassuring smile. “Okay, so, uh, I need to tell you guys something,” Calum starts.

“Also, please don’t kill me,” Michael adds, and Calum laughs at that.

“They’re not gonna kill you, Michael,” she says, rolling her eyes. She reaches into her purse and pulls out the pregnancy test. “You’re uncles,” she tells them.

“I thought we agreed we weren’t gonna tell them by announcing that they’re uncles,” Michael tells her.

“Sorry,” Calum says, then turns to Luke and Ashton and says (surprisingly with a straight face), “Mum, dad, I’m pregnant.”

Michael rolls his eyes at her apparent inability to be serious while announcing her own pregnancy.

Luke and Ashton just kind of gape at her for a few seconds before they bust out laughing. “That’s a good one, Calum,” Luke says.

“Yeah, we all know you haven’t slept with anyone since you’ve been a girl,” Ashton says.

“Guys, I’m serious,” she says, holding out the pregnancy test.

They stop laughing immediately. “Shit, really?” Ashton asks.

“Uh, yeah, pretty sure,” she says, and they look at the positive pregnancy test. “The blue plus sign means I’m pregnant.”

“So, uh, who’s the, uh, who’s the dad?” Ashton asks.

Michael raises his hand sheepishly.

“Your pull out game is weak, bro,” Luke tells him, prompting Ashton to smack him on the back of the head.

“This is not a joke,” Ashton tells Luke. “This is a serious situation that can affect all of us.”

“Uh, sorry?” Calum says, shrugging.

“Okay, how far along are you?” Ashton asks her, his face in his hands.

“Exactly six weeks and one day.”

“Exactly?” Ashton asks.

“We only did it once,” Michael explains.

“Okay, well, we need to figure this out. Calum, can you still play the bass?” Ashton asks.

“Yeah. Not sure how easy it’ll be once I start getting bigger though. But I should be able to manage the rest of the tour no problem,” she answers.

“Are you keeping the kid?” Luke asks.

“Yeah. She said she wants to, so we will,” Michael says.

“How are we gonna announce it?” Ashton says.

“We should probably schedule an interview about it. We can’t just say it without preparation. And we need to tell everyone we work with too.”

“And I need to see a doctor,” Calum points out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also...you guys can help me with the story. i don't know whether to make the baby a boy or a girl. which do you want it to be? pls write in the comments whether the baby should be a boy or a girl; i haven't written that far ahead yet and i need to have an idea before i do. it'll probably be in at least chapter eight when the baby's sex is revealed, so it'll be a while before i write it; right now i'm halfway done with chapter five.
> 
> so comment whether it should be a boy or a girl, okay? whichever the more popular answer is will be what i go with.
> 
> also, chapter four should be posted either tomorrow or friday; i'll be really busy tomorrow but i'm trying to update daily.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter four...hope you like it! just a reminder to please vote in the comments whether you want the baby to be a boy or a girl. so far it's looking like i'll reveal the baby's sex in at least chapter nine, if not later; i'm currently writing chapter six.
> 
> my tumblr: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

It’s a couple weeks later when they announce it to the world. Calum’s been to a doctor in that time; the baby’s healthy, which is good, and she’s kind of not as freaked out now. Before the interview when they’re going to announce it, Calum is freaking out. “Oh, my god, what are people going to think?” she asks. “I mean, are they going to think I’m a slut? I’m not even dating Michael.”

“Yeah, but you’ve only slept with someone once since you’ve been a girl, too. It’s not your fault this happened, okay, Calum?” Luke tells her, hugging her. Her head only barely reaches his chest now. She laugh a little at the height difference. “What’s funny?” Luke asks.

“You used to only be, like two inches taller than me,” she tells him. “Now it’s more like eight inches taller than me. My head barely reaches your chest.”

Luke chuckles. “Yeah, I know. You got short when you turned into a girl.”

“Hey, I’m five foot six and a half. That’s above the average height for a girl,” she defends herself.

“The fact that you have to add the ‘and a half’ just makes you seem even shorter,” he tells her.

“Michael, Luke’s being mean to me!” Calum calls across the room to where Michael is talking to Ashton.

“I am not being mean to her; I was just stating facts!” Luke says.

Michael walks over to where they’re standing and sighs. “What happened?”

“He said I’m short,” Calum pouts.

Michael bursts out laughing. “Well, you are like half a foot shorter than you were as a dude,” he points out.

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” she accuses.

“Sorry. You’re not short, though, seriously. You’re, like, normal girl height.”

“See?” she says smugly, looking at Luke.

“He’s only saying that because he’s your baby daddy,” Luke says.

“I am not,” Michael says. “She’s not short; you’re just freakishly tall.”

“You’re just glad you’re not the shortest member of the band anymore,” Luke tells him.

“Guys, the interview is starting in five minutes,” Ashton says.

“Okay,” Luke says.

 

“So you guys have some big news to announce, huh?” the interviewer asks. “That’s all they would tell me. Can you elaborate a bit?”

“Well, as we all know, Calum here woke up a girl...gee, how long’s it been, Cal?” Ashton says.

“Like three months ago,” Calum says.

“Seriously?” Luke says.

“Yeah, it’s been three months,” Calum says.

“Anyway, so it’s taken some getting used to,” Ashton says.

“So I guess this news has something to do with you, Calum, huh?” the interviewer asks. “And your recent change.”

“Yeah, uh...at first we were hoping this wasn’t permanent, you know? I even said that if I turned back I’d have all these girl clothes and I wouldn’t have to buy my sister a Christmas present.”

The interviewer laughs. “But I’m guessing it is permanent, then?”

“Yeah, we think so. Anyway, we have some news that might upset some of our fans. But this was as much of a surprise to us as it will be to them,” Luke says. “Especially for me and Ashton,” he glares at Michael.

“Now I’m curious. What’s this big surprise? A boyfriend, maybe?” the interviewer asks, looking at Calum.

She blushes. “Uh, not exactly...but it does kind of have to do with a boy…” She reaches into her purse and pulls out the pregnancy test, which she’d brought along as proof.

“Oh, my. Is that what I think it is?” the interviewer asks, sounding shocked at first but then regaining her composure.

“Yeah. Uh, I’d been a girl for about two and a half months when I took the test. I’d missed two periods. So I, uh, bought this and there was the little blue plus sign staring me in the face.”

“So who’s the father?” the interviewer asks.

Calum blushes and points at Michael, then ducks her head. Michael takes her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “I am,” he says.

“Well, I must say this is a bit of a surprise,” the interviewer says. “So are you two dating, then?”

Calum blushes even harder. “No,” she says quietly. “It was a one-time thing, about a month after I changed. He’s still my best friend, though, and he’s been really good about it.”

“Well, I guess all the Michael girls are going to be really jealous, huh?” the interviewer asks.

Michael chuckles a bit, sounding embarrassed. “I guess,” he mumbles.

“So how far along are you, Calum?” the interviewer asks.

“Ten weeks,” she says. “Um, I have a picture from the scan, if anyone wants to see it.”

“Sure,” the interviewer says, sounding a bit too enthusiastic.

Calum reaches into her purse and pulls out the picture, holding it up so the camera can focus on it. She points to a little blob in the corner. “That’s the baby, apparently. I dunno, I can’t really see it that well, but that’s what the doctor said. We heard its heartbeat, though, which is good.”

 

“Well, that was probably the most stressful interview I’ve ever been through,” Calum says when they get back to the hotel they’re in. Calum and Michael head into the double room they’re sharing and Calum flops down on her bed. “Fuck. I’m exhausted. I’m gonna take a nap.”

“Hey, #MalumBaby is trending on Twitter,” Michael informs her, smiling at her.

“Shh. Sleeping,” she tells him, rolling over on her side and curling up in a ball, falling asleep within a couple minutes.

She’s been feeling really tired lately. Luckily her morning sickness hasn’t been too bad; it’s literally only after she wakes up. Apparently the baby is a fetus now, according to the doctor she went to. Also, the pregnancy is measured from when her last period was, so she’s ten weeks. Michael’s been really supportive, though. She’s pretty sure he’s still blaming himself for this.

When she wakes up a few hours later, she finds Michael playing a video game on his laptop. When he sees that she’s awake, he closes his laptop and looks over at her. “Hey,” he says. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” she tells him. “Just really tired.”

“Well, the tour’s over in a couple weeks,” he tells her. “Then we can go home.”

“Good. We should look at getting our own place when we go back home. We can be roommates.”

“That’s all you want to be? Roommates?” Michael asks her.

They haven’t really talked about the status of their relationship. At all. They’re just best friends who happen to be having a baby together. It’s not that Calum hasn’t thought about it; it’s just that she doesn’t want to risk their friendship by dating Michael. “I mean, we’re still best friends. We haven’t really talked a lot about...what our relationship is.”

“Maybe we should,” he tells her.

“Well, what do you want us to be?” she asks him, a bit apprehensive. She knows that if they start dating, the whole dynamic of the band will change. And if they break up, it could be bad. But at the same time, she can’t deny that she’s attracted to Michael in more than just a sexual way.

“Be my girlfriend?” he asks her.

She considers it for a while. “What if it doesn’t work out and it fucks up our friendship?” she asks him.

“Calum, we’re having a baby together. I think if something was going to fuck up our friendship, it would have been that.”

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll be your girlfriend,” she says, smiling. “Get over here.”

He gets out of his own bed and goes to lie down next to her, and she curls up against his side. “You should have another doctor visit in two weeks. If you want, we can wait until we get home after the tour; it’ll still be around the right time.”

“Yeah. And we’ll be home for the rest of my pregnancy, right? I mean, like, besides interviews and promo and stuff in Australia. We’re not going to be touring or anything?”

“No. We’ll just be able to stay home and relax.” He brushes her hair out of her face and looks at her. “Have you thought about names yet?”

She shakes her head. “I kinda want to wait until we find out if it’s a boy or a girl,” she says. “That way we’ll only have to come up with one name.”

“Makes sense. C’mon, let’s get something to eat; it’s dinner time.”

 

After they eat, Calum falls asleep again. She wakes up the next morning. “Hey,” Michael says when he sees that she’s awake. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” she says, and, predictably, a wave of nausea comes over her and she rushes to the bathroom and throws up the contents of her stomach. “Fuck, I hate morning sickness,” she says, heading to the sink to brush her teeth.

“In a couple weeks it’s supposed to ease up,” Michael tells her.

“How do you know that?” she asks him, spitting out toothpaste.

“I’ve been doing a little research. Apparently the morning sickness gets better in the second trimester; that starts at twelve weeks.”

“Fantastic. We have a show tonight, don’t we?” she asks.

“Yeah, we do. Our first show since we announced you being pregnant too.”

“I bet all the questions people ask during soundcheck are going to be about it. Five bucks says some girl will ask me how you are in bed,” Calum tells him.

“Seriously? Okay, you’re on.”

“You don’t think they’ll ask that? Seriously? C’mon, you know they all want to know.”

“Yeah but I also don’t think they’ll actually ask you that.”

“They will.”

 

They did. It happened toward the end of the Q&A. A girl asks, “So, Calum...is Michael good in bed?”

Calum looks at Michael and mouths _I told you so_ then looks at the girl and says, “I came three times.” Michael blushes.

Luke looks at Calum and says, “I did not need to know that. Seriously. But three times? Man, girls are lucky.”

“I know,” Calum says. “It’s amazing as a girl, bro, you should try it sometime.” The crowd laughs. Michael winks at them, making Calum giggle. “But Michael’s mine, so you’ll have to find someone else.”

“Wait,” another girl in the crowd says. “So are you and Michael together now? Because in the interview you said it was just a one-time thing but you just said he’s yours so…”

“Yeah,” Calum says. “As of yesterday evening, Michael and I are together.”

“Why weren’t we informed of this development?” Ashton says.

“We were going to tell you; we just hadn’t got around to it yet,” Michael says.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys pls pls pls comment and let me know whether to make the baby a boy or a girl. so far only one person has voted, and they very enthusiastically voted for a boy. so if you want it to be a girl, now's your chance to vote. just comment pls whether you want it to be a boy or a girl.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay in posting; i really have no excuse. i had writer's block for chapter six, which is currently in the works, and i wanted to finish it before i posted chapter five, but i decided i'd go ahead and post this anyway.
> 
> this chapter has a bit of smut in it, and a lot of humor toward the end. or at least, i thought it was funny...i'm not going to gloss over the ugly aspects of pregnancy and childbirth like so many authors do. particularly childbirth. it is a truly horrifying thing, and i will show it as it is.
> 
> my tumblr is [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com). come say hi!

They get back to the hotel after the show and Calum is still kind of keyed up. She pulls off her skinny jeans and T-shirt and kicks off her shoes as soon as she gets to the room. She looks down at her stomach and sees that it’s not completely flat anymore. “Hey, Michael, come here,” she says.

“What is it?” Michael asks, walking toward where Calum is standing in front of the mirror.

“Do I look like I’ve gained weight? I think I’m starting to show,” she says.

He looks closely at her stomach. “I dunno. Maybe? It’s hard to tell.”

“Well, feel. I think there’s a baby bump,” she tells him.

He presses his palm to her abdomen. “Okay, yeah, there’s definitely something there,” he agrees.

“That just made this so much more real. I mean, I know it’s there, you know, and it’s been there for ten weeks, but...seeing it just makes it seem like it’s more real. Like, holy shit, there’s a human growing in me. ‘S weird. I wonder what it’ll feel like when it kicks,” she muses.

Michael laughs a bit. “I don’t know. I’m actually kind of excited about this, though.”

“Really? Because I’m fucking terrified,” she tells him. “I mean, I want this, I think, I just...it’s gonna be really hard to have a kid and be in a band at the same time. Especially when both parents are in the same band. I dunno; I just worry about the kid.”

“We could have someone keep it while we’re touring,” Michael suggests. “Don’t think about it too much, okay? Wanna go to bed? It’s like one AM now.” He pulls off his T-shirt and skinny jeans as he’s talking, then flops down on his back on the bed.

“Not tired,” she sighs. “But I am bored and kind of want attention so I’ll lie next to you and you can sleep if you want.”

“‘Kay,” he says.

She curls up against his side, her head on his chest. “So when we get home, do you wanna try to buy a house or get an apartment?”

“A house would be nice,” he says.

“We go home in what, ten days?”

“Yeah.”

“That’ll be nice.”

“Mm. Kiss me?”

 

She nods and leans in, pressing her lips to his. They kiss slowly, softly, just closed-mouth for a couple minutes before Calum deepens the kiss and Michael opens his mouth obligingly, and Michael’s hand is cupping Calum’s face softly and she’s got her hand on his shoulder. Then Calum moves so she’s straddling Michael, not breaking the kiss, holding herself above him with her hands on his shoulders. She starts to get wet after a bit, and she really needs some friction on her clit. She grinds against his leg and it’s still not enough; she needs him to touch her. She breaks the kiss and says, “Fuck. I’m so turned on right now. Will you fuck me?”

“Yeah,” Michael says. “Is that safe, though? With the baby and stuff?”

“If it wasn’t safe would pregnancy porn be a thing?” she asks him, making him laugh.

“Fair point,” he concedes. She giggles.

She leans back in, kissing him heatedly, and his hands tangle in her hair. She lowers her body so they’re touching along their torsos, and she can feel his hard cock up against her center through their underwear. He moves his hands down and fumbles with her bra. “Here, let me get it,” she says, sitting up and reaching behind herself, undoing her bra. She tosses it across the room and Michael looks up at her in awe.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he tells her.

“You’re not bad yourself,” she tells him, leaning back in and kissing him again, running her hands all over his upper body, starting to grind against him.

He laughs breathily, and it turns into a groan as she moves against him. She leans back a bit, moving down his body. She tugs on his underwear, and he lifts his hips so she can remove them. She crawls back over him and kisses him again, feeling his bare erection against her through the thin lace material of her panties. “Fuck, Calum,” he moans. “Take those off, I want to fuck you now,” he says, pulling at the lace of her panties.

“No. I want you to fuck me with them on,” she says, moving the lace aside and rubbing herself with his dick, teasing him.

“Yeah,” he says. “Now, please.”

“Okay,” she says, holding his dick in her hand and lowering herself down, moaning as he fills her. “Mm, I’d missed this. Been wanting you to fuck me again for a while now,” she tells him, moving her hips experimentally, trying to figure out how to ride him. She’s never done this before, at least not on this end. A few girls had ridden her when she was a guy, but she didn’t exactly take notes on technique. She finally gets a rhythm going, moving her hips in a circular motion, her breasts bouncing as she moves.

Michael looks up at her as she moves. “God, you look so good like that,” he tells her.

She smiles and leans back down and kisses him as she moves. His hands are on her hips, not guiding her, just holding her, and she groans a bit as he holds her tighter. She breaks the kiss, sitting upright and holding herself up with a hand on his shoulder as she moves her other hand down and slips it into her soaked panties and starts rubbing her clit, letting out a breathy moan when she touches it, continuing to roll her hips, feeling him inside her as she continues to touch herself, and she feels herself getting close now. “Oh, god, Michael, fuck,” she groans.

He moves her hand aside and touches her himself, and she whines as she feels his fingers rubbing her clit, faster than she had, and she has to brace herself with her hands on his shoulders because it feels so good; she basically can’t stay upright, and she stops moving and he thrusts up into her and her breath hitches.

“Michael,” she whines. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah, fuck. Come for me, baby,” he says, and it’s only about another minute before she’s crying out, shaking and clenching, collapsing on top of him, and he continues to thrust up into her through it and then he stills and comes inside her a couple minutes later.

 

As they lie there afterward, she wonders what they’re going to do about touring when she has the baby. She worries about it. She wants the baby to grow up in a stable home, but she also (selfishly) wants to have it with her when she travels the world. She’s never really thought that much about having kids; she’s only nineteen, figured she had her whole life ahead of her to make that decision. But now that she’s actually going to have a kid, she’s kind of conflicted about what to do.

“What are you thinking about?” Michael asks her, touching the wrinkles in her forehead from where she’s worrying.

“I just...what the fuck am i going to do with a kid? We’re in a band, we tour all the time, I just...I’m worried that it’ll fuck up the kid’s development if we bring it with us. But I also kind of don’t want anyone else to take care of it like that. I want to bring it with us and take care of it ourselves, and I want it to be happy and shit, but I don’t know if it can be happy if we’re always on the road.”

“We could take a break for a bit,” Michael suggests. “I’m sure the fans would understand. Just for a year or so. Until the kid’s able to travel okay and isn’t as fragile.”

 

The tour is over sooner than they thought it’d be, and they’re on the flight back home to Australia. “Why didn’t anyone ever tell me about how tired I’d be when I’m pregnant? And I’ve been to the toilet like six times already,” Calum complains as she sits back down in her aisle seat.

“Probably no one told you because up until four months ago you were a dude,” Ashton says.

“Well, I feel like this should have been mentioned as soon as I grew a fucking uterus. So I’d be more responsible and shit and not end up preggers,” she says, leaning back against the thin airline pillow.

“You know what else they don’t tell you that I read about in a book of gross facts?” Luke pipes up.

“Do I want to know?” Calum says. “Scratch that, tell me even if I don’t want to know, I need to know everything I can.”

“Apparently when you have the baby it like puts pressure on your bowels and you shit yourself,” Luke tells her.

“What the fuck? Ew. That’s disgusting. I’m getting a C-section; I don’t care what I have to do, I am not having this thing come out the normal way. I am not shitting myself in a hospital bed while strangers look at my vagina. No way.”

“Then our baby will never have been born, just removed,” Michael tells her.

“I don’t give a fuck; I am not giving birth to this thing through my vagina. I’d think you’d be thanking me for that,” she tells him. “You know they usually have to cut the vagina to enlarge it so the baby’s head doesn’t fucking rip through it. I am not going through that. It sounds so fucking painful and I do not want to go through that. Trust me, your dick will thank me that I didn’t let a fucking baby come out of there and stretch it out.”

“Fair point,” Michael says. “You need to schedule another appointment as soon as we get home for your twelve weeks exam,” he reminds her.

“Why are you more concerned about my pregnancy and the baby than I am? Seriously, you did all that fucking research. If you still feel like it’s your fault and you somehow have to make up for that, I swear I don’t blame you at all.”

“I still blame myself, but that’s not why I’m doing this. If we’re going to have this kid, which you said you want to keep after it’s born as well, we need to make sure it’s healthy and we take care of it properly, even before it’s born.”

“That’s...actually really sweet,” she says.

“Please don’t lean across me and kiss,” Ashton says from his seat between Michael and Calum.

“Fine,” Calum says. “I’m gonna take a nap. If we get there and I’m still asleep, wake me up.”

“Somehow I doubt you’ll sleep twelve hours,” Ashton tells her.

“Fuck, is there still twelve hours left?” she asks.

“Yep.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the baby's gender will be revealed in chapter seven or eight depending on how lengthy i make chapter seven. so this is your last chance to comment whether you want it to be a boy or a girl; by the time the next chapter is posted i'll have already written that part.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...chapter six. this one has smut. airplane sex. well, airplane fingering. but still...anyway, this is pretty good, i think. it's not really that much of an important chapter. next chapter is better.
> 
> also, i'm now writing chapter eight which will be the one in which the baby's gender is revealed. i've already decided, and if you've seen the comments it probably won't be much of a surprise lol. thanks to everyone who commented about it.
> 
> as usual, my tumblr: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

Calum wakes up to find that most of the plane is asleep. “Psst. Ashton. Are you awake?” she whispers, poking his side.

“I am now. What do you want?”

“Trade me seats?” she asks.

“Why?”

“So I can cuddle Michael,” she says. Obviously that’s why; what did he think she wanted to switch for?

“Fine. But only because you’ll probably try to climb over me if I don’t.”

They switch seats and Calum settles down into the seat next to Michael. He opens his eyes slightly as she rests her head on his shoulder. “Hey,” he mumbles, his voice rough and sleepy. And sexy.

“Hey,” she whispers back, cuddling into his side.

“What time is it?” he asks.

“I don’t even know what time zone we’re in right now,” she says honestly. “But it’s dark.”

He kisses the top of her head. “Go to sleep, okay?”

“I just woke up, though,” she whines.

“Okay...well let me wake up then,” he says, yawning a bit. He stretches and she hears his back pop, then he settles back into his seat. He rubs his eyes and it’s so freaking cute Calum just stares at him. He looks at her, looking much more alert now. “What do you want to do?” he asks her.

“Maybe we could join the mile-high club?” she whispers suggestively.

“You’re always horny now, aren’t you?” he asks, shaking his head. Which, okay, maybe she has been a bit needy lately, but her hormones are all fucked up because she’s pregnant and it’s messed with her sex drive.

“I can’t help it; I’m pregnant,” she mutters. “It’s messed with my hormones.”

“I’ll take care of you but you have to be quiet, okay?” he tells her.

“Mm-hm,” she nods, unbuttoning her jeans quickly and covering them both with the blanket.

Michael reaches into her jeans and rubs her through her panties a bit, and she whimpers. “Shh,” he reminds her. “You need to be quiet.”

“Sorry,” she whispers, biting her lip as he slips his fingers into her panties.

“Fuck, you’re wet, babe,” he says.

“Yeah,” she says. He’s barely touched her and she’s already so turned on, she feels her clit throbbing as he teases her, not touching where she needs him. “Michael, please.” She grabs his hand and presses his index and middle fingers to her clit, letting out a shaky breath as he begins to rub her in little circles. She buries her face in his neck, muffling her groans against his shirt.

He moves his hand down further and slips two fingers inside her, and she has to bite back a moan as he curls his fingers, rubbing a spot inside her that makes her see stars. Her hands are gripping his shirt and she feels amazing, and the thought that they’re doing this here, right now, that they could get caught, just makes it even hotter. Which, really it shouldn’t be that surprising that she’s kind of an exhibitionist. Even after she became a girl she still walked around shirtless or even naked more often than not. Though admittedly she’s never done anything like this before: getting off on a fucking airplane in her seat with Ashton sleeping right next to her, completely unaware.

She bites down on Michael’s neck to keep from moaning. “Ow,” he whispers. She kisses the spot as an apology, and fuck she’s so fucking wet, she can hear the faint slick sounds of his fingers inside of her and his thumb rubbing her clit, and fuck, she’s going to have to spend the rest of the flight with her come all over her panties and while the thought should gross her out she finds it hot, and then he presses down a bit harder on her clit and she lets out a squeak, and he shushes her again. “You need to be quiet or we’ll get caught,” he whispers in her ear. “Or is that what you want?” She whimpers into his shoulder and she feels her clit throb at his words. “I bet you want to get caught. What if Ashton woke up right now? What do you think he’d do?”

Fuck, she hadn’t thought of that but now that she has...fuck. She didn’t know she’d be this turned on by that thought. She wants people to see this, wants everyone to see how she’s falling apart from Michael’s hand in her panties, wants everyone to know how good she feels like this, and she lets out a groan that’s a little too loud. She’s getting close now, can feel her stomach tightening, feel the waves of pleasure starting to build up, closer and closer to the edge. “I’m gonna come,” she says breathily, as quietly as she can manage, her breath hitching a bit as she feels her orgasm overtake her, and she’s breathing heavily through her nose, biting down on Michael’s shirt to keep from making a noise and it feels so good, bursts of pleasure wracking through her body as she tenses up and her eyes squeeze shut, and it feels like it lasts for too long and not long enough at the same time, and by the end of it she’s trembling all over.

She feels Michael withdraw his hand from her panties and he licks her juices off his fingers, his eyes rolling back in his head a bit at the taste, and her clit throbs again at the sight. “Fuck, that was hot,” Michael tells her.

“Do you want me to do you?” she asks him. “We could go to the lavatory and I could blow you,” she offers.

He groans. “No. I think we’ve pushed our luck enough tonight,” he says. “But fuck, that would be great. We can’t though.”

“What are they going to do, kick us off the plane?” she snorts.

“We could get arrested,” he tells her. “It’s illegal to have sex on a plane.”

“Fine. But if you change your mind, let me know.”

“Just go to sleep, Calum.”

 

She does go to sleep after a few minutes, her head pillowed on Michael’s shoulder. When she wakes up, it’s daylight again and they’re almost home. Just a couple more hours on this fucking plane and she can go home and sleep in her bed. She wakes to see Michael looking down at her with a smile of his face. He kisses her lightly on the forehead. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” she replies.

The final hours of the plane ride pass fairly easily, and soon they’re landing in Sydney. “Thank fuck,” Michael says as they grab their bags and head home.

 

After they get home, Calum makes an appointment with the obstetrician. She can’t get in for another week, so she’ll be 13 weeks gestation when she goes to the doctor next. In the mean time, she and Michael sit on her bed with his laptop and look at houses.

“This one has three bedrooms, so we could like put bunk beds in one and have Luke and Ash stay over,” Michael says, reading a listing.

“Or, you know, we could just have a normal guest room and one of them could sleep on the couch,” she suggests. “Or they could share a bed. Not like it’d be the first time. We’re all one big gay band.”

“Not anymore,” he reminds her. “You had to go and ruin our gayness by turning into a girl.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“We can do that later; right now we’re looking at houses.”

Calum laughs. “Hey, this one has a pool,” she tells him, showing him a cozy little two-bedroom house with a huge backyard.

“Calum, do you really think we need a pool?” he asks her.

“Yes, we do,” she says decisively. “C’mon, it’s going to be summer soon! It’s September, and it’s already like twenty-five degrees outside. You’ll get to see me in a bikini,” she coaxes.

“That house is tiny,” he tells her. “We’ll need more space.”

“You know what would be cool?” she says after a bit.

“What?”

“The whole band in one house. We could get one with like four bedrooms and Luke and Ash could have their own rooms and we could have our bedroom and then we’d have the baby’s room.”

“We could ask them,” Michael says. “I don’t know if they’ll want to live with us. I mean, with the two of us being a couple. They might find it weird.”

“Well, we could just get a four-bedroom house anyway. In case we want to make a music room or something.”

“Yeah, okay. Look at this one,” he says, turning the laptop screen to face her. It’s a two-story house with five bedrooms and three bathrooms, and it’s nice and spacious. Calum reads the description and looks at the pictures.

“That looks perfect, actually. We should go check it out sometime soon.”

“Great; that’s settled.”

 

They look at the house the next day, and they decide to buy it. It’s a nice place. They’ll have to buy furniture for it and stuff, but it’ll be a good place to live. They ask Luke and Ashton about moving in with them, and they seem thrilled with the idea.

Michael is at Calum’s more often that not as they plan to move into the house, and it’s really not any different than how it’s always been. Except for the obvious: Calum is a girl, she’s pregnant, and they’re dating. But their friendship is as easy as ever, and it doesn’t feel like their relationship has changed; it’s just expanded.

The whole band goes out shopping for furniture for the house. It’s going to take them a while to buy everything, so they mostly just do a little bit at a time. It’ll probably be about a month before they’ll move in, Calum thinks.

Things have been going fairly well for them since they got home, though. Calum’s appointment is in just a couple days now, and she’s both nervous and excited. And worried. She’s still not entirely sure how she’s going to care for a kid, but Michael seems really optimistic, and she’s got Luke and Ash to be the cool uncles or something like that, so she’s not alone in taking care of the baby.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so here's chapter seven. it's not really a very action-filled chapter. it's mostly dialogue. i thought it was nice though. it also reveals some things about malum's feelings for each other.
> 
> tumblr: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com)

Calum’s been doing a bit of research and she discovered that at thirteen weeks (which is what she’ll be for her doctor visit tomorrow), she’ll find out the sex of the baby with almost a hundred percent accuracy. Fuck. She’s already in the second trimester. And she’s dreading giving birth. It’s not that she doesn’t want to have a baby; she chose to keep it, after all. She just isn’t looking forward to the unpleasantness that is childbirth. The more she reads about it, the scarier it seems.

She’s lying in bed, unable to sleep, when she remembers the girl she’d met when she bought the pregnancy test, over a month ago. She still has her number somewhere, she thinks. She digs through her purse and finds it. She looks at the time. She subtracts fifteen hours from the current time and figures that it’s mid-morning where Kara lives. She gets out her phone and dials the number. Kara answers on the second ring. “Hello?” Kara says, sounding confused. Calum can guess why. Kara’s probably never gotten a call from outside the US.

“Hi, Kara, it’s uh, Calum Hood,” she says nervously. “Um, I know it’s been a while since we met, but I just needed to talk to someone who’s been through this, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone here.”

“Oh, hi, Calum. Uh, sure, what’s on your mind?” Kara asks, sounding a bit shocked at Calum calling her.

“I’m just worried. About the whole, uh, giving birth thing. I’m in the second trimester now and it just feels so much more real. I mean, you gave birth, so uh...what’s it like?” Calum asks her awkwardly.

“It hurts. A lot,” Kara replies. “I had my daughter naturally, and I was almost crying. The pain is almost unbearable,” she tells Calum. “There are a lot of things they don’t tell you about it, too. They have to cut you open a bit so the baby doesn’t rip you down there. You pretty much lose control of your bowels because there’s so much pressure on them. And then, after the baby’s out, you still have to deliver the placenta. Which goes by a lot quicker than the rest of labor, but it’s still not pleasant. Then, after birth, your vagina is going to be reeeaaally sore for a while. You’ll have stitches there, and it’s going to hurt to use the toilet. Try to pee in the shower and rinse yourself off. You will not want toilet paper anywhere near that area for a good few weeks. For maybe a month after you’ll have what’s basically like a period. It’s pretty much the same thing, the uterus shedding its lining. It’s normal, and no one tells you about it. Sometimes you’ll pass clots too. You’re gonna want to wear pads for that time.”

“Fuck,” Calum says. “I knew some of that already but...damn why does anyone get pregnant on purpose?!”

“I have no clue,” Kara tells her, chuckling. “I’m with you on that. My guess is they don’t fully understand what giving birth entails. No one tells you these things. That’s why I’m trying to help you out, so you don’t freak out when these things happen. I was totally unprepared for everything I just mentioned. Don’t get me wrong; I love my daughter very much, but if I’d known what giving birth would be like, I would most likely not have gone through with it. But I’m glad I have Leah; she’s my whole world. It’s worth it, Calum. It really is. And I’ll try to help you as much as I can, despite the fact that I live on the other side of the world,” Kara says, and Calum can hear the sincerity in her voice.

“Thank you,” Calum tells her. “So, uh, what’s it like having a kid? I mean, how do you take care of Leah and stuff? Is it hard? Do you ever regret keeping her? Is taking care of a baby going to be as exhausting as everyone says it is?”

“It’s, uh, a big adjustment,” Kara tells her. “I had Leah when I was sixteen, almost seventeen. I got pregnant when I was in the tenth grade. I was scared, and I never would have managed if my parents hadn’t helped me so much. I’m an only child, so my parents didn’t have any other kids to worry about, so they focused all their attention on helping me. I lived with my Dad, and at first he was really upset that I’d gotten pregnant, but he was really supportive. My mom lived in another state, so she wasn’t able to help as much. My grandparents babysat while I went to school. I finished high school. I didn’t try to go to college. I’m a waitress at Olive Garden, and the pay’s okay. My dad’s not rich or anything, but he has enough extra money to help me out if I need it. But taking care of Leah is not as hard as you’d think. I don’t regret keeping her now, but when she was an infant and she woke me up in the middle of the night to feed her, and I breastfed so my tits would be sore if I didn’t pump the milk out, and I had to change poopy diapers...yeah sometimes I wished I had just got the abortion. I’m ashamed to say it now, but an infant is...difficult for a single mom, especially one in high school. You’re lucky you have Michael and the guys to help. And your family will help too. Not that your band isn’t your family,” Kara chuckles.

“Did you hear that Michael and I got together?”

“The fandom had a major freakout over that, Calum. Of course I heard. There was video of that Q&A and it was gif’ed and all over tumblr...including you saying that Michael is good in bed…”

“I have never regretted saying anything more than I regret telling all the fangirls that Michael made me come three times,” Calum says seriously.

Kara bursts out laughing. “Why did you tell them that anyway?”

Calum sighs. “Mostly for comedic impact and shock value. And because I wanted to see Luke and Ashton’s faces,” she chuckles. “I really wasn’t thinking, to be honest.”

“Well, you should have seen Tumblr,” Kara tells her. “All the Michael girls were freaking the fuck out. It was crazy. That girl got so many messages telling her she should have asked you how big he is too. I swear to god, this fandom has no shame.”

Calum blushes. “The fandom is way too fascinated with our—fuck I mean the guys—dicks.”

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, and please tell me if this is too personal, did you like guys before you turned into a girl, or is it like, you were straight as a guy so you’re straight as a girl, or, uh, is it just Michael, or...how does that work?”

Calum pauses. She hadn’t really given it much thought. When she was a guy, she did sometimes look at other guys in a not-so-platonic way, but she just ignored it. She’s kissed all three of the others as a guy, but only Michael since she changed. It was different when she was a guy. It wasn’t gay, because they were just friends messing around. But once she was a girl, it felt like it had more...significance. Because guys and girls who are just friends don’t kiss. “I honestly don’t know,” she tells Kara. “I think I’ve probably always been bi, but it wasn’t until I turned into a girl that I actually accepted that I like guys. But I still find girls hot as well. Just a couple days ago I made a comment to Michael about how we’re all one big gay band, and he said that we’re not anymore because I ruined it by turning into a girl. And Michael’s bi. When we slept together the first time, he told me he thought I was hot as a guy too.”

“Really? So, uh, hypothetically, if you’d been open and given it some time, Malum could have become real even if you hadn’t changed into a girl?” Kara asks.

“You shipped us before I was a girl, didn’t you?” Calum says, catching on, remembering Kara’s lack of surprise when she told her Michael was the father.

“Maybe,” Kara says sheepishly. “Okay, I did. I just...you guys had been friends for so long and I know from experience how easy it is to fall in love with your best friend if you’re really close; my first kiss was with my best friend back in middle school during a game of truth or dare, and I dated her for like a year, and she basically broke my heart and Leah’s dad was the rebound from that breakup. So best friends falling in love isn’t exactly a difficult concept for me to believe.”

Calum’s shocked a bit at that. She hadn’t really thought Kara liked girls, mostly because she has a kid with a guy and is dating a guy. But apparently her first relationship was with a girl. “Huh. I wouldn’t have guessed you liked girls. And that sucks about your best friend. But to answer your question earlier, yeah. I do think me and Michael would have got together even if I’d been a guy. It just would have taken a while for me to stop living in denial about liking guys. Michael’s really open about it, honestly.”

“Yeah, it’s one of those things that’s generally accepted as fact in the fandom, even though he’s never actually said anything.”

“I know. I may have, uh...read some Malum fanfiction…” Calum admits.

“Before or after you became a girl?” Kara asks.

“I can hear you smirking through the phone. But, um, both.”

Kara squeals and then laughs for a good minute. “Oh, my god, this is the best thing I’ve ever heard. So you read slash fanfics about yourself and Michael when you were a guy...oh my god this is too good.”

“Shut up,” Calum says, blushing.

“Okay, sorry. Buuut...did you ever read gay smut?” Kara asks her.

“Kara!” Calum squeaks. “Uh…I did...and I, uh, liked it.”

“Awww! Oh my god I can just imagine that. When you were a guy, you sneaking and reading about you and Michael, being confused about how much you like it, trying to rationalize it with yourself and keep deluding yourself that you didn’t like guys.”

Calum just stops for a bit because, actually, that’s exactly what she’d done. “...wow. You’ve just hit the nail on the head there. That’s, uh, that’s exactly what I did.” She yawns. “I’d better go; it’s like four AM and I have a doctor visit scheduled for later today. I need to sleep.”

“But it’s like—oh...time zones,” Kara realizes, laughing at herself. “Okay. Call me again sometime. You’re really nice, okay? And I want to be friends, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah. I need some female friends probably.”

“Okay, bye, Calum. Call me sometime, okay?”

“I will. Bye.”

 

Calum gets back into her bed where Michael is lying on his side, looking at her sleepily. “Who was that?” he asks.

“It was that girl that I met when I bought the pregnancy test. I needed to talk to someone who’s been through this, and she was someone I thought I could trust. And who’d be awake right now.”

“So you used to read Malum fanfic when you were a guy,” Michael says.

“Fuck, you heard that?” Calum says, running her hand down her face and turning away from Michael.

“It’s okay. I did too,” Michael tells her.

“Man, we were stupid. It took me turning into a girl and getting pregnant with your baby for us to get together,” Calum says. “I kind of wish I’d realized it back then. God, we could have gotten together ages ago.” She turns back to face Michael, and he brushes her hair back and tucks it behind her ear gently.

“I would’ve said something if I knew you liked me,” he tells her. “I just...thought you only liked girls. To be honest, I’ve wondered if you just switched to liking guys when you became a girl because you just wanted to be straight either way.”

“No. It just took turning into a girl to admit that I like guys as well as girls. I think I’d known all along; I just didn’t let myself accept it. I didn’t want to like guys.”

“Maybe you turning into a girl was kind of the universe’s way of giving us a push in the right direction,” Michael tells her.

“That’s as good as any other explanation. Fuck, I still wonder how this happened. I mean, it happened overnight. And I’m, like, fully biologically female. I bet if they tested my DNA it’d be different. It’s weird. It’s like something off the X-Files or something. But hey, at least I kept my tattoos. And my personality’s the same. It could have been worse, I guess. And I’m okay with it. I miss being able to walk around naked without it being weird in front of the guys, though.”

“It being weird hasn’t stopped you,” Michael points out. “Just three days ago you were walking around our new house painting the walls completely naked. It was distracting as fuck. Even Luke and Ashton were flustered. If it wasn’t completely normal for you to be naked, I would have thought you did it on purpose to mess with us.”

“Well, I didn’t want to get paint on my clothes! And the living room looks a lot better light blue than it did fucking pumpkin orange. Who the fuck paints a room bright orange?”

Michael shakes his head. “You definitely haven’t changed in personality,” he chuckles. He caresses her cheek and leans in and kisses her softly.

“Do you ever miss me being a guy?” she asks him as he pulls away, kind of scared to hear the answer.

“You’re still you,” he answers. “And you have boobs now. So that’s a plus,” Michael chuckles and Calum smacks his shoulder.

“Shut up. But thanks. I love you,” she whispers. Which, that’s the first time she’s said it since they got together, since the connotations have been different because they’re dating and it’s a big deal.

He smiles and pecks her forehead. “Love you too.”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here you will finally find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl. i hope you like my choice; it was the popular vote :) i hope you like the way i wrote michael in this chapter; i think it fits his personality personally, but some might find it ooc.
> 
> as usual, my tumblr is [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

It’s noon when Calum and Michael wake up. Her obstetrician appointment is at two. She takes a shower, getting dressed in some skinny jeans (which are fitting kind of tight) and a Nirvana tank top and putting her hair in a messy bun. She heads back into her room, sitting on the bed and painting her nails black. By the time she’s done, and Michael’s had a shower, they need to leave.

At the doctor’s office, they have to fill out a ton of papers before they can even see the doctor. Which is kind of difficult because the questions all assume that she’s been a girl her whole life. How is she supposed to answer all of them?

She finally fills out as many as she can; the nurses and doctor have been informed of the circumstances so she figures they’ll be understanding. She brings the clipboard back to the receptionist and sits down. Michael squeezes her knee gently. “Hey, we get to find out whether it’s a boy or a girl today,” he tells her.

“I know. I honestly don’t know which I’d prefer. It’d probably be easier to take care of a boy because I was one for the first nineteen years of my life,” she says thoughtfully.

“I dunno, I kinda want a girl,” Michael says quietly.

“You want one now, but wait till she’s a teenager,” Calum tells him.

“But Calum, it’d be so cute! We could buy her cute clothes and we could do her hair all pretty and take her shopping and get her little ears pierced and—what the fuck are you doing?” he hisses as he feels Calum’s hand graze his crotch.

“Just checking to make sure you haven’t turned into a girl as well because that was girly as fuck,” Calum tells him.

“Fuck off, Calum.”

“You know, I don’t understand why I was the one to turn into a chick because clearly you’re the girl of the two of us,” Calum says.

“That’s really misogynistic,” Michael tells her.

“That’s a big word. I’m impressed,” she tells him. “And I’m just saying...you’ve had pink hair, you wear fucking eyeliner. And you had a crush on Harry Styles,” Calum says, smirking.

“In my defense, Harry is gay. And pink is a cool color, okay? And eyeliner is sexy on any gender.”

Calum laughs. “Okay, fine. Your crush on a teen heartthrob boyband member, liking the color pink, and wearing makeup are all totally manly,” she says, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

“Remind me again why I love you.”

“I dunno but you loved me enough to knock me up so that must mean something.”

“Ms. Hood?” the nurse calls from an open door.

“Okay, c’mon, we can finish this banter later,” Calum tells Michael, getting out of her seat and they both follow the nurse to an exam room.

 

After meeting the doctor, answering a few questions (is she still taking her prenatal vitamins, have there been any complications he needs to know about, how’ve her moods been, how’s the morning sickness, et cetera), and getting her weight taken (she’s gained six pounds), the nurse brings in the ultrasound machine.

Calum pulls her shirt up and unbuttons her jeans, pulling them down a couple inches. The nurse spreads the gel across her abdomen, then presses the probe to her stomach. She moves it around a bit, then points to the screen. “Okay, that right there’s your baby,” she tells Calum, and this time it actually is shaped somewhat like a baby. Calum can vaguely make out the head and body. Calum hears the baby’s heartbeat. “It’s got a strong heartbeat, so that’s good,” the nurse says, continuing to move the probe around. “Do you want to know whether it’s a boy or a girl?”

“Yes,” Calum tells her.

“Okay,” the nurse says, looking closely at the screen. “Okay, see that there? It’s a boy.”

Calum looks at Michael smugly, and he tries to look annoyed but he’s got a smile on his face, so it doesn’t really work. Calum feels herself tearing up a bit. She’s gonna have a little boy. They’re having a son. She’s crying now. “Fucking pregnancy hormones,” she mutters, causing the nurse to laugh.

“Your moods are going to be kind of wonky for a while, Calum,” the nurse tells her. “You’ll find yourself crying a lot.”

“Fantastic,” she says sarcastically.

“You should probably start looking at maternity clothes,” the nurse suggests. “You’re going to be gaining a lot of weight soon.”

“Yippee.”

 

As they’re heading to the mall to buy some maternity clothes for Calum, she says to Michael, “Maybe we should start buying baby stuff now that we know it’s a boy.”

“We could have done that before we knew,” Michael points out. “My kid isn’t gonna be held back by gender roles.”

“We should probably start buying stuff for the nursery too,” Calum says. “And we need to paint it.”

“I vote light purple,” Michael says.

“No. Yellow,” Calum says.

“How about blue?”

“That’s kind of cliched for a boy.”

“Yeah, but you vetoed purple and I’m not going to suggest pink, Ms Pink-hair-is-not-masculine,” Michael says.

“Oh, fuck off. Okay, we can do purple. But when he’s in school and his friends make fun of him for having a purple room, I’m blaming you.”

“His friends will not make fun of him; both of his parents are in a world-famous band. They’ll be jealous.”

“You know how babies are always fascinated by bright colors?”

“Yeah…”

“Our son is going to fucking love your hair.”

“It’s blond right now,” Michael points out.

“Yeah but you’ll dye it again before he’s born.”

 

“Why are do all the maternity clothes have light colors and flowers and shit?” Calum wonders as they peruse the maternity section of a department store.

“Because most pregnant women don’t buy all their clothes from fucking Hot Topic, and they wear stuff like this most of the time even when they’re not pregnant.”

“This sucks. It sucks big, hairy balls,” Calum says, causing Michael to laugh.

“Okay, you know what? We can just get you maternity jeans, then we can buy all your shirts in a bigger size or something. Or you could wear crop tops or something. It’ll be summer for most of your pregnancy anyway.”

“Too bad they don’t have any skinny jeans,” Calum mutters.

They end up buying four pairs of jeans, and Calum actually finds a couple shirts she likes.

 

After they buy Calum’s clothes, they head to a hardware store to buy paint for the nursery. They decide on a nice lavender color, Calum rolling her eyes at Michael. “I’m telling you, his friends will take one look at his room and he won’t have friends anymore,” Calum mutters.

“Wait, you’re painting your son’s room purple?” the employee who’s mixing their paint asks, shocked.

“It was his idea,” Calum says, pointing at Michael.

“That’s so fucking gay,” the employee says under his breath.

“Okay, first of all, gay is not an insult,” Michael says, glaring at the guy. “Second, you’re literally talking to two bi people, so watch your mouth. Thirdly, there is no way a color can be gay or straight or anything else. It’s a fucking color. Colors don’t have genders. Just mix the damn paint and stop being a homophobe.”

Calum leans up and pecks Michael’s cheek. She wonders what the guy’s reaction would have been had she still been a guy. If he only knew. It’s really difficult to explain to people that she woke up biologically female after being biologically male for nineteen years. Her entire DNA changed. She still has a hard time understanding it. She shakes her head to clear it and watches the guy mix the paint for the baby’s room.

“What a dick,” she mutters as they head back out to the car with the buckets of paint.

 

They bring Luke and Ashton over to help paint again, and Calum unashamedly strips down naked to paint. “Why do you do that? You’re a girl now, and it’s really distracting,” Luke says, pointedly looking away from Calum.

“What? You never had a problem with me being naked when I was a guy. And I don’t want to get paint on my clothes.”

“Well, I didn’t find you hot when you were a guy,” Luke says.

“Aww, thanks Lukey,” she says condescendingly. “And I’m the exact same person, except I have tits and a vagina now.”

“That’s exactly why it’s weird now! When you were a dude, it was funny. Now you’ve got everything out there and it fucking drives me nuts. And it’s weird because I’ve never thought about you like that but now it’s fucking all I can think about, Calum!”

“Yeah, you really should put some clothes on,” Ashton chimes in, staring at the same part of the wall he’s been looking at for the past five minutes, ever since she kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her jeans. “Michael, can you please get your girlfriend to put some clothes on?”

“It’s not really any different than when she was a guy for me, so...it doesn’t really bother me. I was attracted to her as a guy, I’m attracted to her as a chick. It’s not my fault you guys are straight. It’s not any more distracting seeing her naked now than it was when she was a dude. Just let her do what she wants; if it bothers you so much you can leave. It’s not like she’s doing it to tease you on purpose or anything; it’s Calum. She’s always been like this.”

“Fine,” Luke huffs, pointedly avoiding looking at Calum and beginning to paint a bit of wall. “So I’m assuming it’s a girl, because you went with purple,” he says.

“Actually, no,” Calum says, using a roller to paint the ceiling. “It’s a boy. But Michael here insisted that ‘colors don’t have genders’, so we’re doing purple. The guy that mixed the paint for us was a real dick about it.”

“What’d he say?”

“Well, we told him that we’re painting our son’s room purple and he said, ‘that’s so fucking gay’, and Michael kind of went off on him. It was actually kind of funny, looking back. He told him to ‘mix the damn paint and stop being a homophobe’,” Calum tells them, laughing.

“You should have told the guy’s manager or something; he shouldn’t be saying shit like that to the customers,” Ashton says.

“Nah, I think he kind of learned his lesson not to assume people are straight just because they’re a guy and a girl. And he probably won’t say anything like that to a customer again,” Michael says easily, taping along the trim of the door and the floor molding.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i also would like to say that this is headed toward some ot4 and lashton as well as malum. the ot4 is the next chapter, and it is basically how luke and ashton discover their attraction to each other, by seeing each other in a sexual situation. but the ot4 smut is rlly good in chapter 9, i promise. but if you don't want to read ot4 smut, i'd suggest you skip chapter nine, which should be posted either later today or sometime tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so here's chapter nine. uh, this is basically just ot4 smut lol. it does have a purpose for the plot, as it will help lashton to get together, as you'll see in chapter ten. but i found this chapter rlly rlly hot, so i'm not going to apologize for my ot4. and please don't say calum seems slutty in this chapter. i just think that sexuality, however it's expressed, is a wonderful thing, and shouldn't be viewed negatively. this chapter is over 3k words btw. because i'm total ot4 trash apparently.
> 
> my tumblr: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

“Alright. The ceiling adjacent to the wall here is almost done. I’m moving the ladder,” Calum says, climbing down and moving the ladder over to the wall where the closet is to paint the ceiling against that one.

“Please don’t,” Luke says.

“Why?” Calum asks, pausing with her foot on the bottom rung of the ladder.

“Um, because I’m painting the wall here and if I look up I’ll be able to see right up between your legs because for some reason you always have your feet on different rungs of the ladder and I really don’t think my sanity can take that. Why the fuck do you insist on painting naked?”

“Then just don’t look,” she tells him. She really can’t deny though that she does like teasing Luke and Ashton like this. It’s fun to see their flustered expressions and to see them trying to adjust their pants so she won’t see that they’re hard. Okay, so she’s definitely an exhibitionist.

“Calum…”

“Hold on, I need to talk to Michael in the hallway,” she says, struck with an idea that she knows Michael probably won’t approve of, but who knows? Maybe he’ll surprise her.

 

“What do you need to talk to me about?” Michael asks Calum, confused.

“Um...so uh, hypothetically...how jealous would you be if maybe I let the others fuck me while you watch?” she says.

Michael gapes at her. “Uh...fuck, Calum. Honestly, not at all. That’d be a win for me as well.” She’s surprised by his answer, but pleased. “Just, uh, why?” he asks her.

“Oh, um...well, I know they’re both attracted to me as well, and I’m kind of a bit of an exhibitionist, so I thought it might be nice.”

“Fuck. Yeah, that would be great. Do you think they’d agree to that, though?”

“I’m pretty sure they would. Or at least, Luke would. Not so sure about Ashton. He might get nervous with all the dicks in the room.”

“Can we, uh, can we record it?” Michael asks sheepishly.

Calum thinks for a bit. Back when she was a guy and her dick pic leaked, it was possibly the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to her. Definitely, without a doubt, an experience she would not like to repeat. If they recorded this, and it leaked somehow, it would be exponentially worse, because a) she’s a girl now, and people will call her a slut and things like that because girls aren’t supposed to be sexual beings for some reason; and b) it would be a sex tape of her with all of her bandmates, which, while it would make the shippers very happy, would probably raise a lot more questions than if it was just with Michael. But, on the other hand, she’d be able to watch it whenever she wanted, and so would the others, and that really appeals to her. “Okay, but we have to be very, very careful that no one ever finds out. When my nudes leaked it was the most embarrassing moment of my life, and I don’t want a repeat of that.”

“I understand, babe,” Michael tells her, kissing her gently.

“So, want to go invite our bandmates to have a foursome with us?”

 

Luke and Ashton stare at her in shock. “What?” Luke says. His eyes probably haven’t blinked since she said the word foursome.

“I said, would you guys be interested in a foursome? Or, more accurately, all of you fucking me. Michael wants to record it, too,” she says calmly.

“Uh…” Ashton just gapes for a second, then says. “Um, are you seriously asking us to have sex with you? And be recorded, too. Um, okay, let me just take a second to process this.”

Michael smirks.

“What about you, Luke?” Calum asks.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s, uh...okay.”

“Okay. Cool. Let’s get back to painting this room,” Calum says, climbing up the ladder right next to Luke, just like he told her not to do. Luke keeps his eyes trained on the wall, focusing on painting. “Luke, you’ve been painting that same spot for five minutes,” Calum tells him after a while, giggling. She just loves messing with her bandmates like this. Luke’s the one that seems to get flustered the easiest, so he’s usually her target. Michael’s used to being around her like this, and Ashton’s not a teenager anymore so he’s more calm around girls. Luke’s also the youngest, and while he’s not really innocent, she kind of feels like she’s corrupting him, which she likes. Luke looks up at her, then his eyes widen, and he gulps and quickly looks away, adjusting his pants. Calum smirks. “Having a hard time there, Luke?” she asks, fully intending the double entendre.

“Shut up; this is your fault. Why do you always walk around naked?”

“I like to tease,” she replies nonchalantly. “Especially you. It’s fun.”

“The sexual tension here is killing me,” Ashton mutters.

“So, uh, how about that foursome?” Calum says.

“Now?”

“Yeah. We have the king-sized mattress up in my and Michael’s room. I mean, there aren’t any sheets or anything, but it’ll do. And we can prop Michael’s phone up to record it.”

 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Ashton says, standing in a corner of the room, still fully dressed, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, we are,” Calum says, lying on her side on the huge mattress, propped up by her elbow to see her bandmates all looking at her. They’ve propped the camera up in a spot where it’s looking directly at the bed at a good angle. “Michael’s going to fuck me first,” she announces. Michael hesitantly pulls his shirt off, glancing at the camera nervously. Calum knows he’s insecure about how he looks. “It’s okay, babe, you’re beautiful,” she tells him sincerely.

He smiles softly at her, then undoes his belt and pulls his skinny jeans and boxers off. He crawls across the bed to hold himself above her. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey yourself,” she replies. She pulls him down into a kiss, which quickly turns heated, and before long she’s moaning at the feeling of Michael’s tongue brushing her own. He pulls away, kissing down her body, sucking a nipple into his mouth, making her arch her back. “Fuck, that’s so much more sensitive now,” she tells him.

He smiles and continues playing with her nipples for a bit. Then finally, he moves further downward, and she spreads her legs invitingly, hearing Luke and Ashton’s gasps when Michael leans in, licking up her slit then fucking her with his tongue, rubbing her clit with a fingertip.

“Fuck, that’s hotter than I thought it’d be,” Ashton mutters. “Look at her.”

Calum feels kind of smug at that. Hey, if the whole bass player in a rock band thing doesn’t work out, she could always try her hand at porn. She lets out a loud moan when Michael moves his mouth up and his tongue starts flicking her clit, and he sucks hard, making her let out a loud groan and an “oh, fuck”. She feels two of his fingers enter her, curling deliciously to rub against that spot inside of her, and she lets out a sound that’s half-sob, half-whine. She feels herself getting close, the combination of Michael’s mouth and fingers and the fact that Luke and Ashton are watching getting to be too much very soon, and she feels hot all over, and she feels herself starting to tense up, waves of pleasure building and building and—oh, fuck, she’s coming so hard she blacks out for a second, saying Michael’s name over and over, practically screaming it. When she comes down from her high, she lies there panting for a bit before she opens her eyes and says, “Wow. That was great. Fuck me now?”

“With pleasure,” Michael says, leaning over her and lining himself up, pressing in, making her arch her back. It always feels so good when he first enters her, for some reason. Always feels so good getting filled up, feeling him stretch her inside, and she moans as he bottoms out.

“Move,” she groans, and he does, setting a quick rhythm, and she hears one of her bandmates—she thinks it’s Luke—let out a loud groan, so she looks over to see Luke and Ashton watching intently, and she sees that Luke’s rubbing himself through his jeans, pressing the heel of his hand against the bulge there. “Michael, I want to ride you,” she mutters, and he stops moving, pulling out and lying on his back, and she straddles him and slowly sinks down until his dick is buried inside her, moaning as she’s filled. “Fuck, I always feel so full with you inside me,” she tells him. “It feels amazing.”

She raises herself up and sinks back down, letting out a moan as his dick brushes that spot inside her. She starts rolling her hips then, moving fairly fast, and she’s panting, and she hears Michael moaning underneath her. She looks over to see Luke and Ashton watching her intently, looking as if they can’t look away, their eyes glued on her body, the way she’s moving. She’s letting out breathy little moans, and she’s so wet she can hear the obscene slick sound of him sliding in and out of her, and she braces herself with one hand on his shoulder as she reaches down to where they’re connected and rubs her clit in little circles, sobbing because it feels so good, and she can barely keep upright now; it feels so good, and she’s getting close again, feels herself getting there, but Michael gets there first, stilling and groaning, coming inside her, and she moans at his warmth filling her.

She climbs off of him and lies down on the bed, spreading her legs so the camera—and Luke and Ashton—have a good view as she touches herself, two fingers rubbing rapidly at her clit, and she’s so close, so close, but she can’t quite seem to go over the edge. She reaches down further, pressing two fingers inside herself, and she can feel Michael’s come and her own wetness, and she rubs furiously at the spot inside her and she feels something starting to happen, but it’s not like she’s about to come, it’s different, but it still feels good, and she rubs her clit with her thumb as she continues to work her g-spot with the fingers and then something happens she didn’t even think she was capable of—she’s squirting, clear liquid coming out and soaking her hand, and she feels herself start to come as well, and her mouth opens and her eyes squeeze shut and oh my god this is the best orgasm she’s ever had and it feels like it lasts for ages and she’s vaguely aware that she’s being loud but fuck this feels so fucking good and she doesn’t want it to end. It’s at least a minute later when the aftershocks stop and she lies there panting. “Oh, fuck,” she says. She then turns to look at her shocked bandmates and boyfriend. “That was unexpected. That’s never happened before. Fuck, that felt good. Shit.”

“I thought that only happened in porn,” Luke mutters. “Fuck, I’ve never seen a girl squirt before. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Calum laughs. “You wanna go next, then, Lukey?” she asks him.

“I’d probably better because if you keep doing stuff like that I’m gonna fucking come in my pants,” he tells her, pulling off his T-shirt, followed by his jeans and boxers.

“Get over here, then,” she tells him.

Luke climbs on top of her, looking at her questioningly. “Can I kiss you?” he asks her.

“Of course. Not like we haven’t kissed before,” she tells him.

“That was different,” he says, leaning in. “You were a guy then; we were just messing around. This is more serious.”

“C’mere,” she mutters, pulling him in and pressing their lips together. She pulls on his lip ring with her teeth, sucking his lower lip into her mouth, and he lets out a shaky breath.

“I’m probably not going to last very long,” he tells her, his face flushing a bit with the admission.

“It’s okay,” she tells him, kissing his lips again then saying, “I’ve come twice already; it’s okay if I don’t this time.”

“I wanna make this good for you, though,” he tells her. She looks over at Ashton and, oddly enough, he’s not watching her, he’s watching...Luke. She files that away under things to bring up later.

She looks back up at Luke. “Touch me, then, Hemmings.” Luke slowly moves his hand down her body, cupping her breast for a while, rubbing her nipple with his thumb, and her breath hitches. He finally reaches her cunt, his fingers slipping in, two fingers breaching her as his thumb searches for her clit. “Right there,” she tells him when he’s found it, holding back a groan. He begins to rub her clit with his thumb and he curls the fingers inside her, rubbing against her g-spot. He looks like he’s concentrating really hard on this; he’s chewing on his lip ring as he looks at her face. He looks hot like this, she thinks. She’s getting close now, definitely almost there, so she pulls his hand away from her. “I’m close now. You can go ahead and fuck me,” she tells him.

He groans, and she wraps her legs around his hips, trying to pull him in. He lines himself up and enters her, stopping as soon as he’s all the way in. She moves her hips up and he sounds strained when he says, “Don’t do that, fuck. I want this to last more than a minute. Fuck, you’re so wet, and you’re tight, how are you so tight, you feel like a virgin.” He lets out a groan. “God, you feel amazing.”

“Touch my clit,” she tells him. “Please, I need something; I’m so close, Luke.”

“Fuck, okay,” he says, holding himself up with one hand and reaching down between them with the other, pressing his index and middle fingers to her clit, rubbing in small circles, and she shudders and swears.

“Oh, god, Luke,” she moans, and then she’s coming again, clenching and shuddering, her clit throbbing, and she has to move his hand away because she’s so sensitive, and he lets out a shuddery breath and starts to move, going at a steady pace and he’s moaning the whole time, and he comes after a couple minutes, letting out a loud groan and shuddering as he spills inside her.

“Fuck,” he says as he pulls out. “Oh, my god, Calum, you’re amazing.”

“Thanks,” she says, leaning in and kissing his cheek. “Ashton, you ready?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Ashton says shakily, taking his clothes off and leaning over her, lowering his head and kissing her roughly. His tongue invades her mouth, brushing her own repeatedly, and it’s the exact opposite of how Luke had been. Luke had been timid, unsure, whereas Ashton is confident and fucking intense. He pulls back from kissing her and kisses down her body, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking, then biting almost too hard, making her gasp then groan. He spends a few minutes focusing on her breasts before he moves further down, spreading her open and licking up her center. “I can taste their cum in you,” he tells her before leaning back in, fucking his tongue into her hole, then licking up to her clit and moving his tongue in a circle around it before very lightly grazing it with his teeth. He’s being so rough with her and she loves it, moaning loudly at the pleasurable pain of his teeth on her clit. He then sucks, hard, and she almost screams.

“Oh, my god, Ashton, fuck,” she groans as he continues to work her with his mouth, slipping two fingers inside her and rubbing against her spot, making her moan breathily. “Oh, god, I’m gonna come, Ashton,” she tells him, and he speeds up the movements of his tongue and presses his fingers more insistently into her g-spot and that does it, she’s coming, pleasure surging through her, her entire cunt throbbing with the intensity, hole spasming around his fingers. He groans as she comes around his fingers.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, okay?” he tells her. “Do you think you can come again?”

She lets out a sob because she’s kind of oversensitive; she’s come four times already but fuck, she wants to please Ashton, so she nods her head as he lines himself up and she feels his dick breach her, which, he’s big, bigger than Michael, and she feels so fucking full and stretched.

“Oh, my god, Calum, you’re so fucking tight,” he tells her. She inwardly laughs, thinking that in a few months that’s not going to be the case anymore unfortunately.

“I’d probably be even tighter if I hadn’t already been fucked twice,” she tells him, feeling him start to move inside her, going fast and hard and she cries out because it feels so good, he’s hitting all the right spots inside her and then he’s reaching between them and rubbing her clit, and she’s sobbing because it feels so good, and fuck, this is amazing, some of the best sex she’s ever had, and she feels herself starting to get close for the fifth time that evening. “Oh my fucking god, I’m gonna come again,” she says, and she feels her orgasm building, feels herself start to shake with it, waves of pleasure building and building until she finally tips over the edge, and she feels it throughout her whole body, and she’s screaming with how good she feels, and she feels Ashton come inside her while she’s still coming, and oh my god this is the best thing she’s ever experienced, this whole evening with her bandmates fucking her, and she’s come five times and she just feels completely exhausted right now, now that she’s come down from her orgasmic high.

“Oh my god,” Michael says, the first to speak. “Fuck, baby, that was so hot,” he tells her. He’s dressed again, as is Luke, and Ashton’s pulling his clothes back on now. Michael lies down next to Calum and presses kisses into her forehead. “Oh, my god, you were amazing,” he says. “And we’re definitely going to have to try the squirting thing again,” he whispers in her ear, and she blushes.

“That surprised me as much as it surprised you,” she says. “I had no idea I could do that. But it felt amazing.”

“You should have seen the look on Luke’s face when it happened,” Michael tells her. “I thought his eyes were gonna pop out of his head. I swear I think he almost came just seeing it. I probably could have too if I hadn’t just come literally a couple minutes earlier. God, you have no idea how hot it was to see that. I wanna see if I can make you do that sometime.”

“Yeah, definitely,” she agrees. “That was absolutely amazing; I had no idea I could do that, fuck. God, it felt so good.”

“I’ve got your clothes here, babe,” he tells her, handing her the outfit she’d been wearing.

“Thanks.” She stands up and pulls her clothes back on, yawning a bit, exhausted from the five orgasms she just had, but feeling so satisfied as well.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so first, a few notes on this chapter. let me assure you that the tape does not get leaked; i would not make them go through that. and i hope my characterization of luke is ok. i really just wrote him how i thought he'd be in this situation, which is really flustered and kind of overwhelmed. and i always imagine ashton would be rough, for some reason. idk. also, the squirting thing...oh my god i've only done it once, and it was with my vibrator, but oh my god it feels amazing and i know that's tmi but i just had to write it bc it's fucking amazing and i thought it'd be hot if it happened to calum during this whole ot4 situation and i know a lot of guys find it hot too.
> 
> also, i'm trying to think of names for the baby. i'm kind of leaning toward gabriel for a first name, but i'm not sure of the middle name. also, hood or clifford? or should i hyphenate? but do you think gabriel would be a good name? idk i just think it fits. so for names, i'm pretty sure i'll make the first name gabriel, but the middle name idk about. and for the last name, i'm leaning toward clifford, but idk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so the lashton begins in this chapter :) also, the baby gets a name. and idk i really like this chapter. not much is going on in it, but it's cute.
> 
> tumblr: [salt-were-goin-up](http://salt-were-goin-up.tumblr.com).

Calum lies in bed that night cuddled up to Michael, thinking about earlier that evening. Specifically, thinking about Luke and Ashton, and how they seemed to be more interested in looking at each other fucking her, than actually seeing her be fucked. She recalls the way Ashton was watching Luke, so obviously not looking at her, just watching him, watching the way he was moving above her, the way he touched her. She wonders if Ashton was imagining himself in her place, if he was imagining himself making Luke come. No, that’s ridiculous. Ashton and Luke are both straight. There’s no way that was what was going on. She sighs. She’s probably just projecting her relationship with Michael onto them or something.

“What do you think, little guy?” she whispers to her stomach. “Is there something going on with Luke and Ashton?” She rests her hand over the spot where she knows the baby is. She knows he’s not going to answer, but she just can’t stop wondering about this.

 

The next morning, she gets a text from Luke asking her to meet him at the band’s house.

_To: Luke_

_why can’t we just text about it?_

 

_From: Luke_

_because i don’t want to take the chance that someone will see the conversation. i don’t want anyone to know about this._

 

_To: Luke_

_ok fine. i’ll be there in ten minutes._

 

She’s curious as to what Luke wants to talk to her about. Part of her wonders if it’s a ruse to get her to sleep with him again, but she quickly dashes that thought. Luke’s not that smooth. She arrives at the band’s house in fifteen minutes to find Luke in the living room.

“Okay, what do you want to talk about that’s so important we’re discussing it in secret?” she asks him.

“Okay, so you know how yesterday, we all, uh...had sex?”

“Yes, and?”

“Okay, so like I’ve never been into guys that way before, but when I was watching Ashton with you...I wasn’t watching you, I was watching Ashton. And I was kinda jealous of you. I don’t understand this! I’ve never looked at guys that way before, but ever since then I can’t get it out of my head, the way Ashton looked.”

“Okay, so sexuality crisis. Great. And you chose to talk to me about this instead of Michael because…?”

“Because I dunno; I just thought because you’re a girl you’d be better with the whole emotions thing.”

“You do realize that I didn’t just magically become some kind of expert on romance when I grew tits, right? I’m just physically different; I didn’t grow a different brain, Luke.”

“Right, yeah, okay. But uh, so what do you think?”

“Okay, let me tell you something. I was in major denial about my feelings for Michael when I was a guy. And even for a while after I changed. I didn’t want to be into guys, even though I knew you all wouldn’t judge me. I just didn’t want to be like that. But at the same time, I was attracted to Michael. And I read Malum fanfiction, and I liked it. Which confused the fuck out of me, because I wasn’t gay but I liked reading fanfiction of me with my male bandmate.”

“So are you saying I should read Lashton fanfiction?” Luke asks, confused.

“It might help you sort out your feelings, is all I’m saying.” Calum’s phone starts ringing then. “Speak of the devil,” she says as she answers, “Hey, Ash.” Luke looks kind of scared.

“Calum, are you home?” Ashton asks.

“Uh, no. Did you need something?”

“Can I talk to you about something kind of awkward?” Ashton asks.

Calum sighs. If Ashton is having the same issue as Luke right now...dammit these boys are stupid, and she’s not a fucking therapist. “What is it, Ash?”

“Okay, so first of all, no offense to you; you’re really hot and I really liked fucking you,” Ashton begins. Okay, this is definitely going to be a sexuality crisis.

“Okay, none taken, and thanks...what’s the problem?”

“Okay, so I think I might possibly be, uh, attracted to Luke.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Calum mutters.

“Uh, no. I’m serious. It’s confusing because I’ve never been into guys, but I’ve also never really thought about being with a guy that much, but uh, god, Luke was so hot when he was fucking you and I just couldn’t stop watching him, the way he was moving and I was imagining myself in your place and I found it a lot hotter than I thought it’d be, the idea of Luke fucking me.”

“Okay. Great. Sexuality crisis. You’re my second one today,” she mutters, then says aloud, “So go read some Lashton fanfiction or something. Think about it. Really consider it. Think about whether it was just the situation we were in, or whether you really are into guys. When I was a guy I read Malum fanfic. You should read some Lashton.”

“Actually, that’s like the first thing I did when I woke up this morning. I fucking dreamed about him last night, Calum! I had a wet dream about Luke! A dude. My bandmate. So I looked up fanfic to figure out whether it was just one of those dreams that just happens and isn’t based on your actual feelings or whether I actually was attracted to Luke. And I read some smut about me and Luke and I liked it, Calum. I’m so fucking confused right now.”

“Okay, so is it just sexual, or do you, like, love him too or whatever?” Calum asks, looking over at Luke to see him listening in on her conversation with Ashton.

“Honestly? I think I might be in love with him.” Calum looks over at Luke to see his eyes wide, mouth open, and he gulps.

“Oh. Uh...wow. Okay, bro, I honestly have no idea what to tell you. I can tell you that you should probably tell Luke at some point, because I know he’s not going to judge you or make it weird, okay? Who knows, he might even feel the same.”

“Okay. I’ll, uh, I’ll try to tell him. Thanks, Cal.”

“No problem. Bye, Ash.”

 

“So Ashton likes me back?” Luke says, sounding like a little kid with a crush.

“Apparently,” Calum tells him. “Just...be careful about this, okay? Don’t do anything that will fuck up your friendship. But I think you guys could work. And next time you have a sexuality crisis, call Michael, okay? I’m not your therapist. And pass that along to Ashton. Now, I’m going home. Good luck, and don’t fuck this up.”

 

When Calum gets home, Michael’s awake on her bed. “Hey. Where were you?” he asks her.

“Helping Luke with his big gay freakout,” she says, sighing.

“What?”

“Apparently Luke is into Ashton and was freaking out because he’s not gay. Ashton called me while I was talking to Luke and apparently it’s the same for him. So I’ve dealt with two big gay freakouts today, and it’s not even noon yet,” Calum sighs, flopping down on her back on the bed. “Though technically I suppose they’d be big bisexual freakouts, but that doesn’t sound as good. Thank god you’re already out; I don’t think I could have handled another one.”

“So does this mean everyone in the band is bisexual?” Michael asks, laughing.

“Oh, my god it does!” Calum realizes, and starts laughing herself. “We’re bandsexual,” she says nonsensically.

“So do you think Luke and Ashton are going to get together now?” Michael asks Calum as she curls up against his side, pillowing her head on his chest.

“I kind of hope so. But I mean, we bought a five-bedroom house thinking that they’d have separate rooms. Now we’ll have two free rooms instead of one.”

“Video game room,” Michael says immediately. “Or, if we have another kid—”

“No,” Calum says immediately. “I’m stopping that thought before it fully forms. From what I’m hearing about childbirth, I highly doubt I’ll ever want to do it again. We’ll make a media room. And the other spare room can be a music room for the band to practice and stuff. No need to set aside a room for a hypothetical situation that will very likely never happen.”

“Alright,” he says, kissing her forehead. “Let’s talk about names.” He actually has a piece of paper that he pulls out with names listed on it.

“Oh, shit, that’s right, we still have to name him,” Calum says, groaning. Michael laughs. “Okay, so uh, first of all, let’s not name him after a band member, because that would be awkward if we met them and had to explain that. We’d seem like total fanboys. Er, uh, fanboy and girl,” she tells him.

“Okay,” Michael says, crossing Billie Joe off the list, along with Alex, Jack, Brendon, and Gerard.

Calum laughs. “I can’t believe you have a list,” she tells him.

“I’ve been working on it since we found out we’re having a boy,” Michael says seriously.

“You’re a much better parent than me already,” Calum says quietly. “I mean, I care about the kid, of course I do, but it just seems like you’re just so much more...invested in this. I’m still freaking out about it, honestly, but you seem like you’re already completely ready to be a dad.”

“It’s probably harder for you because you weren’t always a girl, so you never thought you’d ever be pregnant. I didn’t turn into a girl, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. It’s okay, Calum. You’ll be a great mum.” Michael kisses her gently.

“Thanks, babe,” she says softly, snuggling up to him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You know what we should get?” Calum says after a bit.

“Let me guess...a dog,” Michael says. “I was wondering when you’d bring that up.”

“Well, it could help us practice,” Calum points out.

“Calum, we’re going to have an infant in less than six months. Let’s not get a dog,” Michael says, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, fine. So...names. Can I see the list?” Calum says.

Michael hands her the list. “My favorite is Gabriel.”

“Yeah, I like that. Actually, I think that one should be what we use. So middle name? How about Theo? Theodore?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. That was surprisingly easy.”

 

Gabriel Theodore Clifford. That’s the name they decide on for their baby. They lie in bed that day watching movies on Netflix, just enjoying being together, Michael’s hand on Calum’s baby bump. “In a few weeks I should be able to feel him kicking,” Calum tells him.

“I can’t wait,” Michael says. “He can hear us, you know. I read somewhere that he should be able to recognize voices at this point. Have you talked to him any?”

“Well, I rhetorically asked him what he thought about Luke and Ashton, but other than that...no.”

“Okay,” Michael says, leaning down so his face is next to Calum’s belly and placing both of his hands gently on the bare skin where her shirt had ridden up. “Hey there, Gabriel,” he says to the baby. “I’m your dad. I can’t wait to meet you. We’re painting your room this week. It’s purple. Your mum says that’s a girly color, but I say colors don’t have genders.” Calum smacks Michael’s shoulder gently and he laughs a bit. “We’ve still got a lot of stuff to do before you get here. We’re trying to finish the house this month and move in, then start buying baby stuff for you. I wonder who you’ll look like.”

“Well, after he’s born he’s going to look kind of like a squished potato,” Calum says to Michael, rolling her eyes. “Have you ever seen a newborn?”

“Shh,” he tells her, putting a finger on her lips. “Don’t tell him that. You’ll hurt his feelings. It’s okay Gabriel, I’m sure you won’t come out looking like a squished potato.”

“Michael, just because he’s ours doesn’t mean he’s going to be any more aesthetically-pleasing than any other newborn. Newborns are ugly. They just are. They don’t get cute till a week or two after they’re born.”

“Well how am I supposed to know? I’ve never been around a newborn!” Michael says. “And neither have you, for that matter.”

“Okay, fine. Gabriel, I don’t think you’ll be ugly when you’re born,” Calum tells the baby.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god you guys i am so so so sorry it took me so long to update. i know i promised a new chapter by christmas and i feel like absolute shit for taking so long. but here you go. this is kind of a filler chapter, sort of. but uh...lashton is in this, so that's good, right?
> 
> i promise my next chapter won't take a month and a half to post. and i apologize for this being so short and terrible. but once i get going on chapter twelve it should be easy for me to write it.

Calum struggles to button her skinny jeans over her now-obvious baby bump. “Goddammit!” she says, tears forming. She yanks them off irritatedly, going over to a drawer and grabbing a pair of maternity jeans. They’re a bit loose but they fit a hell of a lot better, and they’ll fit better as she grows. And they stretch, too. She pulls on a loose-fitting All Time Low T-shirt and finds that it’s not so loose-fitting anymore. It fits fine around her chest, but it gets kind of tight toward the bottom. She should have known this would happen soon; she’s almost four months pregnant.

They’ve finished the house and moved in, and she’s really liking it so far. Luke and Ashton still haven’t had a conversation since they told her about their feelings though. So they still have separate rooms at the moment.

 

It’s getting ridiculous, this thing between Luke and Ashton. Calum’s in the kitchen of their house fixing herself a bowl of cereal while Ashton makes pancakes, and Luke walks in, sees Ashton standing by the stove, and walks out again. Calum sets the Lucky Charms on the table and goes after him.

“Luke, you guys really need to talk. It’s messing up the dynamics of the band. Just tell him okay?”

“Tell me what?” Ashton says, walking into the living room with a plate of pancakes in one hand and a glass of milk in the other.

“Tell you about his big gay crush on you, I’m guessing,” Michael says, walking through the living room on the way to the kitchen.

“Okay, well, I’ll just let you two talk about that,” Calum says, retreating into the kitchen after Michael.

 

“Why the hell did you do that?” she asks Michael as she’s pouring herself some cereal.

“Well, they obviously weren’t going to tell each other anything,” he points out.

“Okay, fair point.” Michael and Calum eat their cereal silently, trying to hear what’s going on in the living room. When Calum’s done with her cereal, she puts the bowl and spoon in the sink and peeks into the living room. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, get a room!” she says upon seeing Luke and Ashton making out on the sofa, both shirtless.

“Technically, the living room is a room,” Luke says with a smirk, looking at Calum.

“Besides, it’s a bit hypocritical of you to not want to see us making out, Ms. Exhibitionist,” Ashton points out. “Our band orgy notwithstanding, I happen to know that Michael got you off on the plane back here after the tour while you thought I was asleep next to you.”

“Okay, fine. You can make out on the couch. Just save actual sex for the bedrooms. I don’t want to have to clean come off of the upholstery.”

“Gee, you’re acting like a mum,” Luke mutters.

Calum gestures to her obvious baby bump. “Technically I am a mum. I’m just not your mum, and thank god for that. Now go to your room and get rid of this sexual tension we’ve all been suffocating in since the orgy.”

 

The band has some promo the next week. Calum’s fifteen weeks pregnant now, and definitely showing. They have an interview that’s going to be televised, but everything’s somewhere that they can just go for the day.

They have to get up ridiculously early for the interview. Calum sleeps in the car on the way, her head pillowed on Michael’s shoulder, him softly snoring as he sleeps too.

Luke and Ashton have finally sorted their shit out, and are officially dating. When they arrive at the interview, they all sit on a sofa and the interviewer walks in.

“So guys, a lot of things have changed recently, haven’t they?” the interviewer begins.

“Yeah. Um, obviously,” Calum says, gesturing to herself.

“How far along are you now, Calum?”

“Almost four months. I see the doctor again in two days. Um, we’re having a boy,” she says, smiling like an idiot, and Michael looks at her fondly, and she wants to kiss him, but they’re in an interview so she can’t.

“His name is Gabriel Theodore Clifford,” Michael says.

“So you’re going with Michael’s last name?” the interviewer asks.

“Yeah,” Calum says.

“Any particular reason?” the interviewer asks, glancing at Calum’s left hand quite obviously, clearly wondering if they’re engaged or something.

Calum blushes. She and Michael hadn’t really discussed the reasons why. It was kind of just something that went unsaid. Because it’s still a bit early to think about getting...married. Or at least, it is for Calum. “Uh...so anyway, does anyone want to see a picture of our house?” she says, changing the subject. She hears the boys chuckle at her obvious discomfort. “The whole band is living together in one house now.”

“That’s interesting,” the interviewer says. “Luke, Ashton, is it difficult having to live with a couple? Especially since there’s going to be a baby involved soon.”

“Uh…” Luke says, obviously blanking. Calum rolls her eyes.

“It’s not really any different than it’s been before,” Ashton says honestly. “It hasn’t messed up the way we all interact at all. And we’ve all been helping with the nursery.”

“How’s that going?” the interviewer asks.

“It was kind of difficult to paint because Ms. Exhibitionist here insisted on painting naked so she wouldn’t ruin her clothes,” Michael says.

“Why’d you have to tell everyone about that?” Calum squawks, indignant. Now the whole world knows. “And besides, I was naked half the time when I was a guy; it was just a habit I guess. It took the others some time to get used to seeing me with my new anatomy,” Calum says, looking at Luke.

“It wasn’t much of a change for me,” Michael shrugged. “She was hot as a guy too. But it was kind of hilarious to see the other guys’ reactions whenever she’d walk into the room naked or in her underwear.”

“I wasn’t going to stop doing it just because I grew boobs,” Calum says defensively. “Plus it was fun to watch Luke squirm. He always gets so flustered,” she chuckles. “Anyway, the nursery is lavender.”

“I thought you were having a boy?” the interviewer asks, sounding confused.

“We are,” Michael says. “Colors don’t have genders, and I liked the purple, so we painted it purple.”

“Hm,” the interviewer responds, “I suppose that’s true.”

 

“Who wants pizza?” Ashton asks as they all enter their house after an exhausting day.

“I dunno if my stomach can handle pizza. I want pizza, but the baby might not. I don’t want to risk throwing up perfectly good pizza,” Calum says seriously. If she eats anything greasy, she usually throws up. The morning sickness has ebbed a lot, but she still gets nauseous from certain foods and smells.

“Okay, what about Chinese food?”

“That probably wouldn’t be a good idea either. You guys go ahead and order pizza; I’ll fix myself a sandwich,” Calum says, sighing. She goes up to the nursery and sits in the rocking chair they’d recently bought, in the corner by a window. “Gabriel, I love you, but I really wish I could have that pizza,” she says quietly to her belly. Obviously, the fetus doesn’t answer her.

Calum sits in the nursery for a while, looking around and reflecting on how much things have changed in the past six months. It’s hard to believe that six months ago she was a guy, and now she’s not only a girl but also four months pregnant. She looks around at all the baby stuff they’ve recently bought. She hopes she can be a good mother, but really, what does she know about parenting? Her only sibling is older than her. She’s glad the others are there and will be able to help. But she still worries. They’re going to have to take a break for a while so she can raise the kid in a stable environment for the first year of his life.

She’s only nineteen. She’d never even thought about having kids, other than the vague idea that sometime in the future she might want some. Now, though, in less than five months she’s going to have a baby. There is a human being growing inside her, and she has no clue how she’s going to care for him once he’s no longer there. But she doesn’t want to give him up. She knows that for sure. She’s already so fond of him.

She sighs. She’s just so worried that she’ll fuck this up and be a horrible parent and ruin Gabriel’s life. But rationally, she knows she won’t. The others will help her. And Michael...Michael seems more invested in this than she is, honestly. She smiles at the thought of her boyfriend. Honestly, she thinks that she and Michael probably would have ended up together anyway, even without her turning into a girl and them having a baby. It was probably always meant to happen. But she’s fine with the way things are now. Not entirely pleased; she wouldn’t have chosen these circumstances. But she’s content.


End file.
